I rather like the idea of Russia going around to the countries that used to be part of him and try to convince them to come back when he’s drunk, scaring the shit out of them.
This is dedicated to Provass http://provass.deviantart.com/ who draws so many weird and wonderful pictures of my characters.
Soviet soldiers are marching in a Finnish forest when they hear a Finnish soldier yelling in the distance: "One Finn is better than five Russkies!"
The Soviet officer sends a handful of his men to find out who dared to insult the mighty Red Army. The group of Soviet soldiers disappear into the forest and shortly a few gunshots are fired. Then the voice yells again: "One Finn is better than ten Russkies!"
The officer now sends two squads to kill him. A short firefight is heard and the voice yells again: "One Finn is better than fifty Russkies!"
The officer orders a mortar barrage to be fired on the Finnish position and orders three platoons to attack him. A battle rages for half an hour. As the battle dies down, the voice yells again: "One Finn is better than 100 Russkies!"
The Soviet commander is now furious, he orders every artillery-piece and mortar to fire at the Finnish position. The ground shakes and all trees are cut down from the intensive barrage. Then the he orders his entire company to attack this Finnish loudmouth. A fierce battle rages for several hours, complete with Soviet airplanes dropping bombs and Soviet tanks showing up as support. Eventually everything goes quiet and the officer breathes a sigh of relief until the same voice yells again: "One Finn is better than 1000 Russkies!"
The Soviet officer is now practically writhing with fury and goes to call for reinforcements. Before he can, however, one badly wounded Soviet soldier crawls back from the Finnish position and barely has enough strength to whisper: "Please, no more. It's a trap. There are two of them."
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