Hot Brew

England: I like this tea.
China: Pay me silver.
England: I'd like more tea, if you please.
China: Pay me silver.
England: Give me some more tea.
China: Pay me-
England: I don't have any more silver! I just need my gdamned tea!
China: Well then you don't get any tea.
England: I WILL WRECK YOUR BLOODY COUNTRY, MATE!

(opium wars in a nutshell)

@Somber you missed out that Britain did't have access to silver. Also the Ming Dynasty is an embarrassment in Chinese history...

@LuxVertas ...pounds sterling? I don't think they were talking about wood or shiny beads.

@Somber When you try to ban a drug, and declare war on the drug dealers, but your army is so stoned they cant fight...

@Somber You missed the part where Britain sold opium to the Chinese to buy back the silver which they then gave to the Chinese for more tea, which they bought back with opium and so on. The whole opium wars thing started after the Chinese found out what they were doing and got almighty pissed.

In the end the British did what they probably should have done in the first place, they smuggled the plant out of China and grew it on what was then their own territory (India).

...question...
WHAT IS IN CANADIAN TEA...? ;)

@Packless1 LoyalTEA

@LuxVertas and probably Maple Syrup (or is it just their bank notes?)

@Packless1 CiviliTEA, ResponsibiliTEA, respectabiliTEA, availabiliTEA, ApproachabiliTEA, DiversiTEA. OMG there is a pandoras box of kindness here!

@Packless1 According to Brother Google (who maybe should appear here one day also), the tea in question is coca leaf tea, which does contain cocain, or related substances.

@Packless1 An apology in a cup?

@Packless1
Labrador Tea?

It is actually an intoxicant, and technically legal too. It is a mild tonic when brewed quickly with just a few leaves, but care must be taken to not "accidentally" use too many sprigs and a long brewing and steeping time because it can become hallucinogenic. Y'know, "accidentally".

So that's why the UK always invading people...

@Xordic Good heavens, no. That's just perfectly normal megalomania. Just about every country in the world gets that from time to time.

@Doghouse
You britts were simply a bit more successful than others

Can I make my "Proper tea is theft" joke here somewhere?

@weelydangle yesssss

Someone go warn Britain-

To be fair: According to news articles Google coughed up, the tea in question is coca leaf tea, which does in fact contain cocain or its predecessor components, which the test is supposed to find. Still, funny cartoon. Have we seen brother Quebec before? If not: Yay for him, and may he have nice tea experiences.

@Myrica He was shown before in this comic:
https://satwcomic.com/hi-quebec

PHASE TWO OF OPERATION BATTLE OF THE PLAINS OF ABRAHAM CAN BEGIN NOW!!!!!!
GO GO GO REDCOATS! RECLAIM QUEBEC FOR THE ONE WE CALL QUEEN, AND THE ETERNAL TEA TRADE!

@Henlaar I'm...a little confused here. The French already *lost* at the Plains of Abraham. Fighting that battle again seems like a poor choice for the English.

@Indigo Stage one was to kick the government out, now we begin to re-colonize Quebec, and in true British fashion, rename it after one of our monarchs in a thinly veiled reference to the monarch in question, but in Latin...

@Henlaar The brits tried that in the 1850s. We assimilated them. Now Quebec anglophones are all bilingual and have a weird accent in english, mixed in random french words, that dosent fit anywhere else in Canada, mouahaha!

@stooges81 Its part of the master plan to force the Quebecois not to understand there own brethren!!

How could you mess up THAT bad

If this years Eurovision comic doesn't include bondage Iceland I'm suing

Can't we find a "Who Fancies a Kebab?" Test for weed?

@LuxVertas The desire for kebabs happens to me after beer as well, though

@LuxVertas Dude, I don't need drugs to have a desire for a Kebab.

And there's Gyro places all over here these days, most of them mediocre to bad. But a couple of them... are... Heaven. You hear me Anoush Deli? And Nicolas Restaurant? Don't you ever go out of business!

@Tarmaque
I dunno. Arbys gyros are pretty good for the price. If not up to the standards of Dinos (local chain here).

And it IS supposed to be pronounced like it's spelled. Gyro is a reference to how the lamb is suspended on a rotating vertical spit.

@Dan I haven't been in an Arby's since before we invaded Afghanistan. When I want Gyros I want good Gyros, and I know where to get them and it isn't Arby's.

(Although I used to enjoy Arby's chicken strips. However I've become addicted to Popeye's Chicken strips and onion rings.)

@Tarmaque UK kebab shops are... a particular, dirty dirty, thing. Essentially, we took a centuries old, rich cuisine and destroyed it until it was greasy enough and cheap enough to only really serve drunks on the way home from the pub or stoners. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a dirty kebab with chilli sauce all over it on a park bench after 15 pints, but it's hardly fine cuisine.

@weelydangle I believe you. I guess I'll just stick to soggy fish and chips if I ever visit.

(Also I don't drink, so I will stick to identifiable food stuff.)