Eurovision 2013

Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKewBfUE2Mg and France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8 wore similar dresses. One more sparkley than the other.

Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5iazXvMw5o Can't be seen in the video, but it started with a clip of the singer boxing the air on top of a house, followed by her singing of birds falling from rooftops...

Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EiuqczFZhQ The only way they could have made it cuter would be to have puppies perform the number.

Moldovia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xckgLUv73Jc was supposed to be a volcano, but I have to admit it reminded me more of an upside down ice cream cone because of her hair.

Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8oaxDV1q6o looked ever so adorably confused and like he was asking "I don't have any money. I hope this is good enough" which paled awfully next to Romania's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgHWFiavqjA glittery vampire that would send Edward Cullen running for his money.

Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN3d_V7KVLE had a man in a box, and was very close to winning.

And finally the Nordics.
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlBXOveVh7c had a lesbian kiss at the end of a song to her boyfriend.
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzE88IYzXLI had Marvel/Hollywood Thor.
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjb_9ngE1sE had a super tight dress.
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtjdTPnCcu0 had a guy sweeping his dancers off their feet.
And Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3f9v8ebuD4 won Eurovision with an *ahem* golden shower.

There was LOTS more going on, such as a giant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMxpv8naRd8 and hipsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOimfHq76xk but dammit, I only have so much paper.

I do think it's rather sweet though that the winning song "Only Teardrops" is actually about Europe and a plea for everyone to get along.

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Dracula

Dracula. The vampire comes from Transylvania in Romania, Van Helsing comes from the Netherlands, and the story takes place in England.

They’re quoting the movie from 1992

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Child of the Night

Throughout the world Romania have two stereotypes: Vampires and thieving gipsies.

So of course Romania is a vampire who would rather steal your purse than drink your blood. Yes, I know that makes me a horrible person.

And yes, that is Sister England. Yes, I know you English people envisioned her differently, but this is the kind of women we see in your TV series and movies, so this is what she looks like.

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