Stop Your Meddling

Well, isn’t this how it works most of the time.

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Reality Hits

America is getting darker. It won’t be long before white people are a minority.

America does not like!
And his hair is of course not turning black because it's bleached.

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Tall food is good food

Ah yes. Smørrebrød. Apparently the most famous part of the Danish kitchen.

For those who don’t know what that is, American’s usually translate it to “open sandwich” even though the direct translation would be “buttered bread”. Basically you take a thin slice of bread (can be white or dark, though smørrebrød with white bread is seen as children’s food) and put thin slices of...whatever you want really on top of it. It is then eaten with knife and fork, because the whole thing can get so tall that it would fall apart if you tried to lift it off the plate. Often the topping completely hides the bread underneath.
This is what it looks like http://www.sst.dk/publ/publ1999/spisbedre/SUSBOP/Dokument/smorrebr.gif

We eat it all the freaking time. At home, work and even parties.
A popular version in my family is dark bread with curry-herring (which as the name suggest, is herring dipped in curry) with shrimps on top, and on top of that slices of egg, finally sprinkled with raw onion, chive, salt and pepper. It may sound awful, but don’t diss it till you’ve tried it.

But the American would no doubt win the eating contest anyway. I once went to a restaurant that served noting but American food, and my friend and I quickly agreed that we would have to share a meal that was supposed to be for one person. My god you people can eat a lot of food.

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Healthcare

How most Scandinavians feel about the American healthcare system.

In Scandinavia we pay for healthcare though our taxes, which means we all pay for each other, and nobody thinks twice about going to the doctor because we’ve already paid for it. We also have private care for those rich people who don't want to wait in line.

But before you declare the American system “OMG!!! EVUL!!!”, remember that we Scandinavians also pay the highest taxes in the world.

We up her like it the way it is, but you Americans will have to decide for yourself.

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America Has Spoken

Quite a few things in here that needs an explanation.

America loves to meddle in other countries affairs, despite knowing very little about the countries.

Doing World War 2 the Swedes let Germany walk through Sweden, which allowed them to invade Norway.
That pissed Norway off quite a bit, and for many years after that it was custom for Danes, if they were having a party where both a Swede and a Norwegian would show up, to never place them at the same table or anywhere near each other, because otherwise they were sure to start fighting.

Poland is wearing a burglar’s bask because if anything is stolen in Scandinavia, it will most likely turn up in Poland. Not necessarily because it was a Pole who stole the thing in the first place, but because that’s where a lot of people go to get rid of their stolen goods.

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Awesome Hats

Yes, Norway, Sweden and Denmark are wearing the hats from Hetalia. ;)

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King Europe

Because Europe is America's biggest bitch.

Seriously, I've asked around, and quite a few europeans feel this way about America.

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I want oil

So there is a spot between Canada and Greenland where there might be oil, and now all the countries around it claim it as their own. Especially America, Russia and yes, tiny little Denmark are being very aggressive about it.

Sweden can’t really get into the fight because he can’t claim that the spot belongs to him, and Norway is pretty relaxed about it, because he already has his own oil.

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Eurovision Song Contest

The Eurovision Song Contest is serious business...In some places.

So Norway won this year, with Iceland in second place. People in Sweden and Denmark were all like, “Damit! We wanted to win! But yay! Our Norwegian brother won instead!”. The Danes were thoroughly pissed that Sweden didn’t give us a single point this year though, because it’s a bit of an unspoken rule that the Scandinavian countries vote for each other. Ah, Eurovision is always so much fun.

For those who don’t know, Norway won with this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiH4BFTELME
Iceland who came in second place had this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcXCjC1Yijg
England: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxwp3wPZUm8
Sweden: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP07YbJCSAI
Denmark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTQG1j3aHGk

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I Need Mountains

Just a little quickie, because the other day I was reminded of a funny thing that happened to me a few months ago.

A pair of Americans came into the hospital, and when I found out they were Americans I had to ask them what they were doing in Denmark, seeing as we don’t have a whole lot to come after. They then explained that they had heard that Scandinavia had great skiing conditions, and that the flight to Denmark had been the cheapest, so that was what they had come for: Skiing. Great was their disappointment then, when they flew over Denmark and noticed that there was no snow, and not a single mountain in sight.
Yes, of all the Scandinavian countries they choose the one country that has no mountains. At all.

Anyway, this is my stereotype version of America (It should be noted that all countries in these little comics will be made from a Scandinavian point of view). He is a tall guy because everything in America has to be BIG. He is well trained and toned and has dyed his hair blond because to us Americans seem obsessed with their looks, yet he is not a health-freak (Either that or they’re ridiculously fat). And he is rather clueless about the other countries.

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