Be careful what you say

Some...unfortunet history.

The Scandinavians were pretty convinced that they were the best human race and that everybody else were below them. Especially in Denmark the scientists were very fond of using measuring tools to determine race and intelligence, which inspired Nazi Germany a lot. The Danes who had intended to use the "science" as a base for their welfare system were horrified when they found out what the Germans were using it for and started to realize just how misguided it was.

Nazi Germany loved Denmark though, and because the Danes didn't have an army worth anything, they used Germany's love a lot during WWII to try and help those the Nazis wanted to kill. That's how you end up with stories about Danes shipping 99% of their Jews to safety in Sweden, and how they made agreements with the Nazis that Danish Jews who were sent to camps go better treatment, more food and weren't killed.

As one Danish Jew in a camp said "We got crates with food, letters from our families, chocolate and candy, but the German guards always stole the cigarettes"

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Flag Day Every Day

Few countries are as obsessed with their flag as Denmark...

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Hurry hurry hurry

Denmark was well aware that it didn't have the military power to fight the Nazis, so the plan was to surrender and cooperate with them. However, they also knew what the Nazis did to Jews, so when reports came in that the Nazis were on their way the Danish government immediately got hold of 99% of Danish Jews and shipped them off to neutral Sweden in the dead of night.
(Unlike in this comic though, the Jews knew where they were going and why)

This of course also means the Jewish community in Denmark is pretty small today.

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Cute Puppy

This was inspired by this story http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/12/world/europe/12nazi.html?_r=1 of a Finn who taught his dog to do the nazi salute during World War II. The nazis did not like that.

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Come and get it Big Boy

Denmark did at one point hit rock bottom. We were losing land fast, and finally the king just had to accept that Denmark was never going to be a great empire again. In desperation he tried to give Denmark away to Prussia, but not even they wanted us! The king even asked them three times, but every time the answer was, “No. Fuck off”! D:

There were various reasons why they didn’t want Denmark at the time. One was out of fear of pissing off England and France who would see that move as an attempt to become a colonial power, and even though Denmark wasn’t worth much on it’s own it could have done a lot of damage in Prussia’s hands, what with still owning Greenland, Iceland and the Virgin Islands, not to mention controlling all shipping in and out of the Baltic Sea. Denmark didn’t have the means to do much with those areas, but Prussia could have placed military bases on them. USA, Russia, England and France would have seen that as quite a threat.

But one of the reasons was also that the Danes didn’t speak German, and at the time Prussia was more interest in collection the German speaking countries rather than just hoard land.

Nazi Germany taking over Denmark had noting to do with Prussia not wanting us. He’s just there for comedic effect.

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Even Nazis have Needs

Thre's a story going around that it bothered Hitler that his soldiers were copulating with non-aryan women, and to stop it he got the idea for a sex doll. He did however not trust German scientists with this task, so he asked the Danish ones he had instead. Apparently they had a better knowledge of such things.

The dolls were never made, but Hitler wanted them to have blond hair, blue eyes and big breasts.

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Bully Fail

I had to laugh when I heard that Greece tried to bully Germany into giving them guilt-money for all the stuff that got stolen during WWII. Luckily Germany just told Greece that they had already paid them back through EU.

Poor Greece will just have find another way out of poverty.

And poor little Iceland has reached a point where he doesn’t mind where the money comes from.

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Pretty Swastika

I just ran some text through the Babelfish translator, so I hope the German in the comic is complete nonsense.

Many people have asked me, “On what side was Denmark doing World War II?” and the anwser is that you will get different answers depending on who you ask, even within Denmark, because Denmark’s way of handling the situation was rather unconventional.

Nazi Germany saw Denmark as one of the most aryan countries in the world, and decided to do a “friendly invasion” so that Denmark wouldn’t fall into the hands of the enemy. Denmark was shit scared of Nazi Germany after what had happened to Poland and we were well aware that we couldn’t fight them. But we knew that the Nazis liked us, so what Denmark did was this: We quickly shipped 99% of the country’s Jews off to Sweden where they would be safe, then (sort of) fought the Germans for two hours to show the rest of the world that we weren’t completely on their side, before just giving up and letting them march in.
We then proceeded to treat the soldiers as nice as possible, hoping that Hitler would be kind to us if we behaved. Denmark even became known as the “whipped cream front” among the Germans because we were so nice, and it was every German soldier’s dream to be sent to Denmark were they didn’t have to fight or fear for their life.

So it’s no wonder Denmark was often called Nazi friendly.

And Sweden of course weren’t completely passive doing the way, and did help their surrounding countries a little thought the war (helping Jews anyone?). I just thought it would be funnier like this.

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