He knows what he likes

"It's just a stupid boulder,"Sweden scoffed, crossing his arms as he watched the Dane fawn childishly over an enormous, innocuous looking rock. It was bad enough that the two of them were lost in the middle of the forest , but now his only companion, who had been moaning about beer snatching ghosts and brain sucking butterflies every five minutes had now apparently lost his mind. At least Norway could've made a shelter, caught some food, or gotten them back to civilization....

"It's not just a boulder. It's a rock!" Denmark, looking almost offended, retorted, before smiling gleefully at it and squealing as he embraced it, nuzzling it's craggy face. "A rock! A rock! A great, big, beautiful rock! Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape!"

"Denmark!Will you stop talking about the stupid pioneers? Have you noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchikers, ate hakarl, and took directions from the French! And now you're telling me they thought they could drive..."

@chaosgirl13 WOOWWWWW

@chaosgirl13
This is beautiful.

DENMARK: C'mon, Finland. Aren't you gonna make a comment about my lack of mountains?

FINLAND: I don't have mountains, either. Just some hills and a couple of tall fells.

DENMARK: Well, you'll probably make a mean-spirited crack about me collecting rocks, right?

FINLAND: I like to strip naked, enter a room that's hot and steamy, beat myself with a bundle of birch twigs, and then hop into a hole in the ice, if it's winter. Afterwards I drink vodka straight from the bottle as Sister Sweden whips my nuts with a knotted shoelace.

DENMARK: .................................

FINLAND: Believe me, your rock collecting's fine.

@DarkMage7280 It's good to hear someone who understands, and alot of Danes also like ice bathing, we just don't have as many saunas as you guys, saunas are the shit though.

@DarkMage7280 I find this conversation unrealistic.

As we all know, Finland only gets chatty in the sauna and Denmark is far too freaked out about the last time that happened to ever go back in the sauna with him. ;-)

@ShoggothOnTheRoof Finland's drunk here.
And when we're drunk... WE TALK.

@ShoggothOnTheRoof

me too. it goes like this:

DENMARK: How do you like my new rock, Finland?

FInland: ……

DENMARK: You would like to touch it? You´re welcome!

Finland:………….

DENMARK: Not much of a talker today, huh?

Finland:………..

DENMARK: By the way, I have made a cake too, Norway got me finally the reci…

Finland: *VIHTA!*

DENMARK: *slowly goes backwards* I leave it just here for you. no problem. look, I have my rock, don´t worry. just have your cake.
*pets his rock to sleep*

@DarkMage7280
But Finland also has his swamps where he can lurk in peace with no threat from Russians or obnoxious Swedes and family members and have a nice drink,too! He can even challenge the other Nordics to a game of football in them and laugh as they slip and slide in the marshes.

@chaosgirl13 I like the way you think.

@DarkMage7280
Well, you Finns have some pretty unique festivals, not just wife carrying and swamp football(which was actually part of military training, right?). There's mosquito swatting, mobile chucking, anthill sitting, air guitar championships...

@chaosgirl13 True, except that the swamp football is not part of any regular military training as far as I know.
The short summer drives us crazy, I guess.

@DarkMage7280
Only two seasons like over here? Winter and Construction?

@chaosgirl13 Officially there's winter, spring, summer and fall.
I prefer to call them Fucking Cold, Not As Cold, Almost Warm and Getting Cold Again.

True, our summers are relatively warm, as long as it doesn't rain (which it does... a lot), and occasionally it can get downright scorching, but I'm biased since I hate winter.
One thing is true, though: we go a little crazy during the summer.

@DarkMage7280
So you could sort of compare the Northern Midwest to Scandinavia to a certain extent? We lack most of the rugged terrain, but....
In my home state( which has the highest concentration of Finns in America),we can get long, cold, snowy winters, but thanks to the El Nino, it was mild these last two years after the blizzard of 2013-14( no school for close to three weeks), but we're too far inland and east of the closest Great Lake to get lake effect snow like they do on the west coast,and then hot, steamy summers with mosquitoes everywhere because of how swampy the part where I live is-there's drainage ponds and little patches of water everywhere, and that isn't even counting the lakes, and the occasional tornado, but one hasn't hit here since 2014. Spring and Fall is where one day you go out in shorts and a t shirt, and the next day you're bundled up in a snow jacket., and in spring especially, you think just above freezing is warm and feels like summer, as long as the sun's out. This spring, there was also a huge windstorm that knocked out the power at school for 3 days; I clocked a 60 mile an hour gust on the weather station at home, the shingles flew off the roof, and there were trees uprooted and powerlines down everywhere. And yes, there's always orange construction barrels everywhere year round. The roads are also the worst in the country not only because of the freeze thaw cycle, but because of how heavy the trucks are driving, and so there's potholes everywhere that can make you blow out a tire or bounce high enough in your seat to hit the roof of your car.
https://www.wunderground.com/wximage/Lainey315/2
Hometown in winter

@chaosgirl13
That does look and sound a lot like our winters, with less snow, though.
BTW, I love the picture. Looks serene and peaceful, a lot like the town I'll be moving to once I graduate.
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/2405700.jpg

@DarkMage7280
The architecture is beautiful! Where's that?

@chaosgirl13
Rauma, Western Finland. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rauma,_Finland
One of my sisters, my godfather, two of my aunts, and three of my cousins live there. My sister-in-law's from there. Our summer cabin's located outside the town, and Rauma's sort of a spiritual home for our entire family.
There's bigger cities around the world and in Finland, but Rauma shall be my home once I graduate. There's just no place where I'm happier. (though I do love London a lot) <3

@chaosgirl13 Yooper?

@txag70
Wannabe troll transplant

@DarkMage7280 It worries me that I happen to share Finland's concept of a good time.

@SisterCostaRica You like to have your balls whipped with a knotted shoelace?

I like that boulder. Das a nice boulder.

Gigantic rocks in front of things are fun.

True story: when Bank of America built their big headquarters building in San Francisco decades ago, in front of it they put a huge polished chunk of black obsidian as decoration. Apparently the "sculpture" has an official name, but no one knows what it is because (this being San Francisco) the day it was unveiled some wag nicknamed it "The Banker's Heart" and it's been known by that ever since.

I´m building a new summerhouse and am currently spending a small fortune on rock removal! Does this mean that I could invite a few rock-starved danes to do the job and then pay them in boulders?

@ArgaAnders you could at least sell the boulders to a Danish or Dutch garden center. There's demand for rocks in those places. They make pretty fountains from piles of rocks and don't mind spending money on the required rocks.

@Wortel Awesome! (I know that you´re joking hehe), but if by chanse you happen to know someone that want to buy a lot of prime, hard density, heavy and utterly annoying rocks, I´m all ears!

@ArgaAnders well, I'm quite serious that garden centers sell them... They'll need stuff to sell...

I vote to redirect all future striking meteorites towards Denmark

@poodle_doodle I second that vote

@poodle_doodle I suck at English so I’m not sure if it’s kind or mean but I don’t care if it’s mean or nice to the Danes, I’m in! xD

There's a legend about the biggest boulder in Schleswig-Holstein, the Düvelstein (Devil's Stone) in the village of Großkönigsförde (the stone is in its coat-of-arms). Legend has it that the devil didn't like the church in the town of Gettorf (which is about 7km from Großkönigsförde), so he took said Düvelstein and threw it at the church. God however didn't want the church destroyed, so he nudged the stone which bent the church tower in the flyby; since then the church tower is crooked. The stone then flew all the way to Großkönigsförde, where it still lies. In Gettorf there's now a statue of the devil with an inscription of the story in Low German.

'@Warpwaffel' as far as contractor's excuses for building's deficiencies go, this is one of the more plausible.

@comrade_Comrade Just imagine the scene.
A: "Yay, it's complete!"
B: "Nice job, but isn't the tower a bit crooked?"
A: "Funny story, actually. You know that giant stone in Großkönigsförde?"

'@Warpwaffel' I even know the facial expression that accompanies such story.

@Warpwaffel Denmark also has what I'll call a rock legend. There's a huge rock on the island Fyn (Fuen to the English) that's easily the size of a really large van, we call it Jættestenen (the Jotun Stone). There's signs pointing the way to it and everything.
As the myth goes, there where two giant siblings, Big Belt and Little Belt, both eponymous with existing bodies of water. The older brother Big Belt shaped the island Fyn as a gigantic art project, and his sister Little Belt envied his landscaping skills so much that she threw the biggest rock she could find at him. Lacking some skill in throwing, the rock only made it halfway there, landing on Fyn where it now serves as a minor tourist attraction.

@KasperMC That's adorable.

Norway: I got many mountains.
Sweden: I got a lot of cliffs.
Denmark: I got a rock.

@Ytterbius5000 Sweden: Ooh, copper ore?
Denmark: No, just a rock.

@Kvaseren https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAcuRsEvgjQ if you don't get the reference

The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!

@Rosin will you forget the stupid pioneers?! Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral and took directions from algae! And now, you're telling me they thought they could drive......rocks? Hold on there, Jethro!

I finally felt inspired to make an account by this comic. This is the rock in MY front yard. I'm not proud. (Beacon Rock, Washington State)

https://az760333.vo.msecnd.net/-/media/property/skamania-lodge/columbia-river-gorge-scenery/skamania-destination-columbia-river-featuring-mountains-and-beacon-rock-7-maximum-jpeg-cropped-1440x460.jpg?ts=cdb88034-ea8a-4efe-acdb-a9edb34ce6c7

...and yes, as a matter of fact there is a trail you can take to the top. It's a bit brutal, but not as bad as the trail up Hamilton mountain across the street from it.

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5068/5676798189_3aa02f7055_b.jpg

@Tarmaque Everything is bigger in America.

@Tarmaque That is because the Pacific Northwest is the part of Scandinavia that broke off, drifted across the Arctic Circle, then decided to move in with Canada when it failed to remember the way back home. A poor mans Scandinavia, if you will, slightly warmer thanks to that Pineapple Express thing (or, conversely, because passage beneath Greenland and around Britain saps much of the Gulf Streams energy.) Also, ya'll are both commies. :P

@JOL Funny you should mention that. The Cascade Mountains where I live are often referred to as "The Alps of North America." I've lived most of my life within sight of Mount Saint Helens. From the top of Hamilton Mountain (which isn't exactly a mountain, but rather a prominence on the rim of the Columbia River Gorge) you can see at least four and sometimes five stratovolcanos: Mount Saint Helens, Mount Hood, Mount Adams, Mount Rainier, and on a clear day you can just see the tip of Mount Jefferson. I think.

If you ever visit, I recommend driving the North Cascades Highway and/or the Olympic Peninsula.

@Tarmaque Your "small" rock with 840ft is even higher than the highest point in Denmark (which is the Møllehøj with a little more than 560ft). Poor Denmark ...

@ErikFrohne Some of us are born on mountains, others have mountains thrust upon us.

@Tarmaque
But it looks cool, why aren't you happy about it?

@chaosgirl13 Ha! I was just being modest, not being unhappy about it.

I actually don't live there anymore (for about 2 years) but I want to move back. That was such a wonderful place to live. 12 miles of hiking/biking trails in town, a nice city park right across the street, very quiet little town, and within a half mile of the Columbia River.

This was the view from my apartment window in late October.

https://img04.deviantart.net/2128/i/2017/228/5/a/untitled_by_tarmaque-dbkbxyg.jpg

@Tarmaque
Nice