Scandinavia and the World
He knows what he likes

He knows what he likes

If you ever come to Denmark you might notice big rocks chilling in front of government buildings, hospitals, libraries, or on little hills of dirt. It's not because people were too lazy to move them. Oh no, in fact, they might have been moved several kilometers to be there.

Because we don't have mountains or even cliffs in Denmark (except on Bornholm) a bare, raw rock is considered a beautiful decoration, and the biggest are displayed proudly in front of important things.

11th August 2017

Tagged in Norway Sweden Denmark

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2 months ago #9668328        



"It's just a stupid boulder,"Sweden scoffed, crossing his arms as he watched the Dane fawn childishly over an enormous, innocuous looking rock. It was bad enough that the two of them were lost in the middle of the forest , but now his only companion, who had been moaning about beer snatching ghosts and brain sucking butterflies every five minutes had now apparently lost his mind. At least Norway could've made a shelter, caught some food, or gotten them back to civilization....

"It's not just a boulder. It's a rock!" Denmark, looking almost offended, retorted, before smiling gleefully at it and squealing as he embraced it, nuzzling it's craggy face. "A rock! A rock! A great, big, beautiful rock! Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape!"

"Denmark!Will you stop talking about the stupid pioneers? Have you noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchikers, ate hakarl, and took directions from the French! And now you're telling me they thought they could drive..."

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2 months ago #9668560        



DENMARK: C'mon, Finland. Aren't you gonna make a comment about my lack of mountains?

FINLAND: I don't have mountains, either. Just some hills and a couple of tall fells.

DENMARK: Well, you'll probably make a mean-spirited crack about me collecting rocks, right?

FINLAND: I like to strip naked, enter a room that's hot and steamy, beat myself with a bundle of birch twigs, and then hop into a hole in the ice, if it's winter. Afterwards I drink vodka straight from the bottle as Sister Sweden whips my nuts with a knotted shoelace.

DENMARK: .................................

FINLAND: Believe me, your rock collecting's fine.

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2 months ago #9668650        



I like that boulder. Das a nice boulder.

2 months ago #9668545        



I´m building a new summerhouse and am currently spending a small fortune on rock removal! Does this mean that I could invite a few rock-starved danes to do the job and then pay them in boulders?

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2 months ago #9668496        



Gigantic rocks in front of things are fun.

True story: when Bank of America built their big headquarters building in San Francisco decades ago, in front of it they put a huge polished chunk of black obsidian as decoration. Apparently the "sculpture" has an official name, but no one knows what it is because (this being San Francisco) the day it was unveiled some wag nicknamed it "The Banker's Heart" and it's been known by that ever since.

2 months ago #9670432        



There's a legend about the biggest boulder in Schleswig-Holstein, the Düvelstein (Devil's Stone) in the village of Großkönigsförde (the stone is in its coat-of-arms). Legend has it that the devil didn't like the church in the town of Gettorf (which is about 7km from Großkönigsförde), so he took said Düvelstein and threw it at the church. God however didn't want the church destroyed, so he nudged the stone which bent the church tower in the flyby; since then the church tower is crooked. The stone then flew all the way to Großkönigsförde, where it still lies. In Gettorf there's now a statue of the devil with an inscription of the story in Low German.

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2 months ago #9669021        



Norway: I got many mountains.
Sweden: I got a lot of cliffs.
Denmark: I got a rock.

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16 F
2 months ago #9668462        



The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!

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665 M
2 months ago #9669140        



I finally felt inspired to make an account by this comic. This is the rock in MY front yard. I'm not proud. (Beacon Rock, Washington State)

...and yes, as a matter of fact there is a trail you can take to the top. It's a bit brutal, but not as bad as the trail up Hamilton mountain across the street from it.

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19 F
2 months ago #9668343        



I was climbing up a mountain with a Norwegian, a Swede and a Russian today, which went well. Then we went down.

Me: "Dude, you're walking like there's a ROAD here! It's only loose pebbles, how are you not falling down all the time!"
Him: "I'm Norwegian. I've trained my balance."
Me: "Oh. Right."
*my feet slide away from below me, I land on my butt and I move on on my hands and feet with my butt almost touching the ground*
Swede: "What. Why are you moving like that!"
Me: "It's the most foolproof way to get down!"
Norwegian: "How high is the highest point of the Netherlands?"
Me: "About 300 metres above sea level. It's a huge attraction. And it's on a narror strip of The Netherlands sticking out into Belgium. Another part of the hill is just past the German border. It's the least Dutch part of the Netherlands."
Norwegian: *looks at the harbour* "You just climbed to just over 300 metres above sea level."

You can imagine we like putting big rocks in places for decoration too. But most of the big rocks have been dynamited to shambles for dike building (yes!) in the fifties and sixties, so they're a rarity now.

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