Lands of two wheels

When I learned that Denmark provides all exercise bikes in space I thought “That is so on brand for Denmark and how didn’t the Netherlands get that job?”

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Sand in bad places

It's always fun to learn about new things to be afraid of.

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Milkman

We had a Dutch person visit us a few weeks back and we learned lots of new scary things.

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National Animal Show

A lot of countries have a Lion as their national animal.


(Finland's national animal is a bear)

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Illustrated by Jess.

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Olive oil is good for the skin

Ah, world politics. The Netherlands and Turkey have been in each other's hair several times, but it has mostly stayed civil until now.

And Hawaii is having none of Trump America's crap right now.

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Bike it off

I've often seen people on the internet make fun of fat people on bikes and wondered "What's so funny about that? How does people who think that's funny get around?"

Then I leaned that The Netherlands and Denmark are the "weird" ones, because here everybody casually ride bikes all the time, while most other places it's considered something you do if you can't afford a car or if you're a health freak.

So yeah, if you want to see lots of fat people on bikes, just visit The Netherlands or Denmark. You'll be pretty desensitized to it after a few days.

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The whale in the room

I was talking with a woman from the Netherlands and somehow we ended up talking about how our countries treat stranded marine life. Of course the Netherlands have regular beaches where whales can get stranded, but the first thing that popped into my head were whales flopping over the sides of Netherlands' dams.

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Brightest Sheep in the Field

And this is just one of many many reasons why, when Netherlands and Denmark hang out, they hang out alone.

But people actually paint their sheep bright colors in some parts of England to avoid people stealing them.

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Day at the beach

Germans are crazy about the beach. If you leave them there, there is no guarantee they'll be the same person when you find them again.

312 comments

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Eurovision 2013

Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKewBfUE2Mg and France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8 wore similar dresses. One more sparkley than the other.

Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5iazXvMw5o Can't be seen in the video, but it started with a clip of the singer boxing the air on top of a house, followed by her singing of birds falling from rooftops...

Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EiuqczFZhQ The only way they could have made it cuter would be to have puppies perform the number.

Moldovia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xckgLUv73Jc was supposed to be a volcano, but I have to admit it reminded me more of an upside down ice cream cone because of her hair.

Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8oaxDV1q6o looked ever so adorably confused and like he was asking "I don't have any money. I hope this is good enough" which paled awfully next to Romania's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgHWFiavqjA glittery vampire that would send Edward Cullen running for his money.

Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN3d_V7KVLE had a man in a box, and was very close to winning.

And finally the Nordics.
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlBXOveVh7c had a lesbian kiss at the end of a song to her boyfriend.
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzE88IYzXLI had Marvel/Hollywood Thor.
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjb_9ngE1sE had a super tight dress.
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtjdTPnCcu0 had a guy sweeping his dancers off their feet.
And Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3f9v8ebuD4 won Eurovision with an *ahem* golden shower.

There was LOTS more going on, such as a giant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMxpv8naRd8 and hipsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOimfHq76xk but dammit, I only have so much paper.

I do think it's rather sweet though that the winning song "Only Teardrops" is actually about Europe and a plea for everyone to get along.

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