Eurovision 2013

Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKewBfUE2Mg and France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8 wore similar dresses. One more sparkley than the other.

Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5iazXvMw5o Can't be seen in the video, but it started with a clip of the singer boxing the air on top of a house, followed by her singing of birds falling from rooftops...

Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EiuqczFZhQ The only way they could have made it cuter would be to have puppies perform the number.

Moldovia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xckgLUv73Jc was supposed to be a volcano, but I have to admit it reminded me more of an upside down ice cream cone because of her hair.

Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8oaxDV1q6o looked ever so adorably confused and like he was asking "I don't have any money. I hope this is good enough" which paled awfully next to Romania's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgHWFiavqjA glittery vampire that would send Edward Cullen running for his money.

Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN3d_V7KVLE had a man in a box, and was very close to winning.

And finally the Nordics.
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlBXOveVh7c had a lesbian kiss at the end of a song to her boyfriend.
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzE88IYzXLI had Marvel/Hollywood Thor.
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjb_9ngE1sE had a super tight dress.
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtjdTPnCcu0 had a guy sweeping his dancers off their feet.
And Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3f9v8ebuD4 won Eurovision with an *ahem* golden shower.

There was LOTS more going on, such as a giant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMxpv8naRd8 and hipsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOimfHq76xk but dammit, I only have so much paper.

I do think it's rather sweet though that the winning song "Only Teardrops" is actually about Europe and a plea for everyone to get along.

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Moby is a Dick

Here's the whale spotted off Svalbard's coast http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r62edSNu3U8

Most of the Nordics hunt whales, though not usually humpback whales, so that's purely for the joke.

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Eurovision 2012

So this year's winner is Sweden. He is quite pleased. Just look at his happy little face. ^u^

He fought quite a battle with the Russian grannies, but ended up beating them.

The "screw you" to Norway and Denmark is because Sweden only gave 3 points to Norway and nothing to Denmark.
In the end Norway ended up at the very bottom with only 7 points and Denmark fourth last with 21 points.

The rest can be explained by the acts.
Sweden and the tai chi dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pfo-8z86x80
Russia and the grannies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgUstrmJzyc A translation of the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50lwhKLjxT0
France and her hunks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DZ7DbdeOeE The official video is much the same, plus gas mask action http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnSmB7uBo-Y
Turkey and his man-boat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Qa7_y21oOY
Greece http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NreIi8ma_PY
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRqmHRbJvTo
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZaxIY1VAbM
Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5X2r_t-KBk

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The Easy Way

Religion is a very private thing in the Nordic countries and not something you're supposed to tell others about, both because most people aren't religious so it would be considered rude, and also because they're such personal feelings for religious people.

So a sure way to ruin the mood is to wear a T-shirt with a religious message, or any other object that somehow show what religion you belong to, most of all because Nordics will probably be too polite to talk about it (like I said, you're not supposed to talk about religion), so it will be a huge elephant in the room and they will just sit and stare awkwardly at you, afraid they might say something that'll hurt your religious feelings.

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New Nordic

Scotland has said they want to be part of the Nordics when they get free from England. The Nordics have shown a positive interest in the suggestion.

Meanwhile Estonia which has tried for years to be accepted as one of the Nordics is still ignored. The world just isn't fair.

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Poster

Now for sale http://satwcomic.com/shop/scandinavia-poster

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Iceland ain't right

During a volcanic eruption in 1973 on Iceland the lava started flowing towards a harbor. Fishing was responsible for almost all of Iceland's income, so to save the harbor they decided to try and control the lava flow's path by pouring water on it. Day and night they pumped water from the sea on it and ran back and forth across the still not quite cooled lava, melting the soles under their shoes. The plan worked, and the harbor was saved.

In other words, Icelanders can walk on lava and control it's flow. I'm telling ya', that just ain't right!

And to my supporters: Go suggest things for me to make comics about here http://satwcomic.com/supporter I'm only listening to you guys now, so you hold all the power in your hands!

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Not English

You'd be surprised how often I'm asked that question. It's usually by people from English speaking countries who can't speak any other language themselves.

And I google translated all of it from English, even the Danish, just for the hell of it.

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Brand New Equipment

The penis museum in Iceland finally got a human penis. The world is a better place now. 8D

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ANYTHING BUT THAT

The most obvious joke here is of course the American media’s fear of nudity while not really caring about violence.
But there’s also a hidden joke about Sweden’s past. In the old days all countries used torture, but the Swedes were notorious for it in the North. How they turned Scania Swedish is downright nightmare fuel. They would torture guerrilla soldiers to death, kill their families and wipe out whole villages who supported them. Maybe there’s a reason why Sweden is the only one not scared of Åland.

Today Sweden is pacifist, so he only gets his morbid jollies from scary ass games like Amnesia: The Dark Descent. No, I didn’t play the game. I let this brave woman do it for me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhfTnxG7lLY

Yes, Iceland wants it for his collection.

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