Boys will be Boys

Oh Sweden, ever the prude.

Ever since I started making these comics people have suggested that I should make one where the landmass of the countries equals penis size. That just seemed a little too obvious for me, but then it was suggested that it should be the population compared to the landmass of the countries. I thought that would be funnier and make more sense because population is a “hidden” number. Just like you can’t tell penis size just by looking at the overall size of a guy, you can’t tell a country’s population.

In Scandinavia the numbers from 2000 look something like this:
Iceland - 272,000
Norway - 4,400,000
Finland - 5,171,000
Denmark - 5,330,000
Sweden - 8,861,000

Obviously Sweden is quite well equipped compared to the others.
Also, to be more fair, islands that are part of a country have the same size as said country. That of course means their private parts shrink when they become their own country *looks at Iceland*.

This should not be applied to other countries, especially those that already have a stereotype for their privates. Please think of the poor Canadians! D:

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Talk to Me 1

Talking Swedish hurts so bad in his Finnish soul! And yet, non of the other Nordics speak it better than him. D:

As you can see, I’m moving further and further away from the idea that Finland can’t talk at all. Instead I now prefer to think that he just doesn’t want to talk, and when he does, it’s in Finnish (or as here, Swedish).

That way achieve two things.
1: Everybody who doesn’t understand Finnish still don’t understand what he says, meaning he might as well be mute.
2: It illustrates that Finnish is significantly different from the other Nordic languages.

Someone will probably ask, “Why does she keep switching between talking Swedish and English?”
The answer: So non-Swedes can understand what is going on, obviously.

And just to avoid an awkward situation when you meet a Swede and feels like telling him/her that you love them, Finland is not saying “I love you” but “I love my mistress”

Talk to me 2 http://www.deviantart.com/#/d2rg3t3

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Women's Rights

The result of a conversation that got started by the “Love Finland” picture, about what it means to be a feminist and what men gain or loose from female rights, that started out serious but ended up being ridicules, and we both agreed that we had to stop when we started talking about “The Strapon of Women’s Rights”

I've gotten quite fond of the idea that Finland has an odd fetish for feminists. Sadly, non of the crazy feminazis want to touch him because he has a penis, so he’ll have to do with Sister Sweden who doesn't give a crap about women's rights, but is willing to pretend that she does.

And for the curious, yes, there is something underneath the censor bar. A pink strapon with female symbols on it.
I promise this will be the last strapon picture for quite a while.

EDIT: I'm a feminist myself, so you don't have to tell me what it is. This is just for fun. ;)

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Eurovision 2010

Eurovision is a freaking joke-goldmine to me!

Norway won last year, so they hosted. This was their song this year http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dATI0iblbZo

Sweden didn’t get in this year, and usually they’re among the favourites. The Swedes were not happy about that at all, and there has been a lot of talk about boycotting Eurovision next year. The song that didn’t get in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJFxV-pbRB4&playnext_from=TL&videos=67lNKxMIvYk

Finland didn’t get in either, but they didn’t make much of a fuss. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhcGUy8KeQE&playnext_from=TL&videos=7Avxetrdz_k

Iceland gave 12 points to Denmark but only got 3 in return. They were not happy about that at all, and they have made Facebook groups just to complain about that. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFrGSAKB5bo

Denmark ended up as number 4, which pissed the Swedes off because the song writer originally offered it to them but they said no, so instead Denmark chose it. Denmark’s song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBUHxPNQa1w&playnext_from=TL&videos=V_FNr_ofmvk

Spain had trouble with a fan who ran onto the stage and meddled with the dancers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iF0iI3YfUU&playnext_from=TL&videos=E9j7fyiuU6E

Greece had a very testerone fuiled show and “OPA!” has become a quite popular word. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPHOFpdP_Cc&playnext_from=TL&videos=I4Jc-U3Rg-w

UK came in last as they often do. They say it's because everybody hates the. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Dc5yza1kQk&playnext_from=TL&videos=e9efo2C6E90

Turkey got in second place, and will be remembered for a long time for their “robot” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XwlTisbPdw&playnext_from=TL&videos=8K_nhQSocbc

And of course Germany won with the song “Satellite” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbM5l1ZPrHw&playnext_from=TL&videos=f58ugwRNUO4
I have to admit that I love when countries that enter with a minimal stage show wins.

Oh, and a small group of Americans had sneaked in were waving American flags. So out of place and silly.

And let's never forget the wonderful flash dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiLUcYLLhnw&feature
Gotta' love the woman in the Swedish house who waves a gay pride flag. Oh Sweden, your closet is so transparent.

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How Babies are Made

And that is the story of how Sweden became a daddy.
Just in case you can’t tell, no he didn’t marry Sister Finland. He is just a responsible gentleman who knows he got himself into this, so he is not even going to try to walk out on his obligations as a father.

And yes, little FennoSwede believes himself to be quite awesome despite his parents.
Fenno-swedes are Finns who live in Finland, but speak Swedish, and they are often seen as more rich, snobbish and annoyingly happy compared to the rest of Finland’s population.

Some of you might have noticed that the people in Scania and the fenno-swedes use the same flag. I believe that is going to be hella’ confusing, but I’ll try and remember to tell you who is who if it isn’t clear from the comic.

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Dysfunctional Family

People become crazy axe murders for various reasons.

Inspired by a comment to one of my pictures, “It’s incredible how such a small island like Åland can keep a whole country on it’s toes. It’s like Åland rules Finland and not the other way around!”

Obviously I’m overdoing the real Finland and Åland’s relationship, but I had to illustrate just how much of a troll Åland can be to Finland, because he is the only male character who isn’t afraid of Finland at all. He has been playing his cards perfectly from the start, and now he has Finland by the balls, so to speak.

Besides, Finland needs to be put in his place every now and then. Yes, their family is a little dysfunctional at times. ;)

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Difficult Love

Sweden may have a...tense relationship with Finland, and be in a relationship that is not entirely consensual on his part with Sister Finland, but there is one from the Suomi family that he likes: Finland’s cousin, Åland.

There was a time when the whole Finland family lived with Sweden, but when he lost the war to Denmark and Russia, he had to give up Finland to Russia and Åland moved with him.
When Finland became his own country, he made Åland move in with him, despite Åland’s protests. He always liked Sweden better to a point where he talked Swedish. He wanted to move back in with Sweden, and Sweden wanted him back, but Finland said no.
Åland tried a few times to go back to Sweden, but Finland kept getting between them, but ended up at least letting Åland have his own house (autonomous region). To show whom his heart really belonged to, Åland chose a flag that resembled Sweden’s more than Finland’s.

Such is the love story of Sweden and Åland.

Heh, people kept asking me to do something with Åland, and most suggested that he would be an adopted child of Sweden and Finland, but as you can see, that wasn't what sprung to mind when I read about the islands. ;)

So I tried to make Åland look like he was related to Finland, but had a personlity closer to Sweden.

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Sick Finland

A stupid little comic inspired by a comment saying that Finland had to be sick if he was freezing that much in this picture http://humon.deviantart.com/art/Bedtime-Drama-163781923

As I’ve mentions quite a few times, I used to work at a hospital, and the doctors often said that the best way to check for a fever was with a anus-thermometer. So Sweden wasn’t just out to mess with Denmark when he said that.

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Bedtime Drama

Normally they have their own houses, but every now an then they spend a few days at The Nordic House where they have their meetings. Here everything can turn to drama, including sleeping.

Norway went to bed first, and Denmark followed shortly after. Then came Iceland who had had a crappy day, so he didn’t feel like sleeping next to Denmark. Sweden who had been watching the news on TV finally crawled into bed, not really caring who he ended up next to. Finally came Finland who had been out drinking in the forest, and had only just found his way back home. He was rather dismayed that he would have to sleep next to Sweden and briefly considered just sleeping on the sofa, but decided that it was too cold to sleep alone. Instead he placed himself at the very edge of the bed, with his back to the others.

At some point doing the night Sweden realized Denmark was butt-naked. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable lying next to him, so during the night he moved closer and closer to Finland, away from Denmark. Finland had been freezing, sleeping so far away from the others, so in his sleep he grabbed Sweden’s duvet. That meant Sweden started to freeze, so he ended up getting hold of Denmark’s duvet instead. Denmark, being the pervert he is during his waking hours, went for body-heat, which woke up Norway. He was used to Denmark being clingy, so he just covered him with his own duvet and went back to sleep.

Iceland, being the guy with “ice” in his name, happily slept though it all, and was lucky enough to get up for his morning run before the rest woke up and the morning "how the hell did you end up with my duvet!?" drama started.

Yes, I thought of all that while drawing this.

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A Bad Day

Apparently Denmark won over Finland in ice hockey. I had no idea.

You see, the thing is we don’t really care about ice hockey here, and apparently our team isn’t taken seriously anywhere. Especially by the Finns who doesn’t even consider our team a bump on the road towards Sweden, whom they are obsessed with beating. As I’ve been told many times by Finns, “It doesn’t matter if we win. We just have to beat Sweden”

So when they lost to the Danish team, the headlines in Finland read “HUMILIATION!!!” while the headlines in Denmark read...nothing. We didn’t really care.

So oddly enough I didn’t even make this to gloat. I actually made it by request from *counts notes* 9 Finns, which is also why Finland is in focus here.

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