Mean Names

The head-thing Norway and Denmark are doing is a replacement for hugging, because hugs look so awkward with their tiny bodies and giant heads.

Anyway, I was talking with a fellow Dane about the various mean names Scandinavians have given each other, and we realised that for some odd reason the Danes never came up with a name for their nemesis, the Swedes. We therefore came to the conclusion that “Swedes” was considered a sufficiently mean word in itself.


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Nuclear Power

Ever since I saw this http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/because-every-country-is-the-best-at-something/# I’ve imagined Sweden to be crawling with video-game styled mutants.

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Pacifist

Svalbard is the Norwegians’ favourite island, and a place where people are required to carry guns because of the large number of polar bears living there.

Sweden and Denmark trying to shoot each other is of course another joke on them holding the world record for most wars fought between them.

I came up three different ways it could go wrong when hading these guys weapons. I’ll probably draw them some day.

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Judgement Day

At the moment Denmark is being sued for handing over war-prisoners to USA. Denmark claims it did not know USA used torture.

Denmark have been kissing up to USA a lot since the war started, to a point where Denmark have lost more soldiers per capita than any other country (Obviously USA have lost the most soldiers overall).

He just really really wants a big strong friend...

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ANYTHING BUT THAT

The most obvious joke here is of course the American media’s fear of nudity while not really caring about violence.
But there’s also a hidden joke about Sweden’s past. In the old days all countries used torture, but the Swedes were notorious for it in the North. How they turned Scania Swedish is downright nightmare fuel. They would torture guerrilla soldiers to death, kill their families and wipe out whole villages who supported them. Maybe there’s a reason why Sweden is the only one not scared of Åland.

Today Sweden is pacifist, so he only gets his morbid jollies from scary ass games like Amnesia: The Dark Descent. No, I didn’t play the game. I let this brave woman do it for me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhfTnxG7lLY

Yes, Iceland wants it for his collection.

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Game for Grown Ups

Four of the Nordic boys in the roles of these guys http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH3xiUUM2GQ

The video is a trailer for a non-existing TV series about four old friends, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Finn and a Dane meeting up to play Kim's Game (The game where you put a cloth over some things, then a person removes one thing while the others look away, and then they have to guess what is missing). The Swede complains that it’s childish, so the Norwegian suggest they play the grown up version where you have to remove something from the other person’s life (like a car or money).
The ending result is the Swede and the Finn going crazy, kidnapping the Dane to remove him from the Norwegian’s life, and then removing...something from the Dane's life in the process, and well, it all goes to shit from there.

I almost made Denmark yell, “Noooorway!!!” because the Dane in the video keeps calling the Norwegian’s name over and over and over. In fact, he doesn't say much else.

Yes, it’s from a Norwegian comedy show. Isn’t that lovely...

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Come and get it Big Boy

Denmark did at one point hit rock bottom. We were losing land fast, and finally the king just had to accept that Denmark was never going to be a great empire again. In desperation he tried to give Denmark away to Prussia, but not even they wanted us! The king even asked them three times, but every time the answer was, “No. Fuck off”! D:

There were various reasons why they didn’t want Denmark at the time. One was out of fear of pissing off England and France who would see that move as an attempt to become a colonial power, and even though Denmark wasn’t worth much on it’s own it could have done a lot of damage in Prussia’s hands, what with still owning Greenland, Iceland and the Virgin Islands, not to mention controlling all shipping in and out of the Baltic Sea. Denmark didn’t have the means to do much with those areas, but Prussia could have placed military bases on them. USA, Russia, England and France would have seen that as quite a threat.

But one of the reasons was also that the Danes didn’t speak German, and at the time Prussia was more interest in collection the German speaking countries rather than just hoard land.

Nazi Germany taking over Denmark had noting to do with Prussia not wanting us. He’s just there for comedic effect.

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Santa is a...

Everybody knows Santa’s sledge is pulled by reindeer, lives somewhere cold and even the Finns say he lives in Lapland.

In other words, Santa is a Sami. Just look at this http://www.visitnorway.com/ImageVault/Images/id_8233/conversionFormat_13/scope_0/ImageVaultHandler.aspx and deal with it.

The Sami people are the “Indians” of the North and they belong in the same group as Native Americans and Aboriginals. They live in Lapland, an area that stretches from north Norway over Sweden and Finland to Russia.

I would have liked there to be more characters in the comic, but I don’t have a lot of time to draw today, so this will have to do.

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Nordic Brothers

Sweden and Denmark have fought each other for as long as anyone can remember and holds the record for most wars fought between them. Yes, we even beat the two big enemies of Europe, England and France.
So is it any wonder we make fun of each other today? Heck, it’s a miracle we even refer to each other as “Nordic brothers”.

And what did we fight over? Well, mainly Norway, occasionally Scania, and every now an then Denmark tried to take over Sweden. Fun times, fun times.

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Good Service

This may seem rather random, but it’s actually a commentary on how differently Norwegians and Swedes are treated in Denmark.

I was told a story by a Finn who had heard that Danish and Swedish sounded alike, so he spoke Swedish at a bar when trying to order something to drink. But the bartender just kept ignoring him, and it was only when the Finn said he wasn’t Swedish that he got a beer.

Another story I was told was from a Norwegian. He too was mistaken for a Swede and nobody wanted to give him a beer. When he then explained that he was from Norway he got a beer for free.

Even some Norwegian tourist guides to Denmark says, “A lot of Danes can’t hear the difference between Swedish and Norwegian, so remember to tell people that you’re from Norway. You will get a lot better service”

Behaviour like that is luckily far from the norm, and rather embarrassing when it happens, but it illustrates how Denmark feels about it’s neighbours quite well.

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