Bitchy Witchy

Happy Halloween!

During the witch hunts in Europe each country had their own witch lore.

In Norway and Sweden they were what you would expect. Women who did magic and could fly using anything from broomsticks to their husbands.

In Denmark however witches weren't believed to have the power to fly. Their favorite transportation was a horse at night.

And in Iceland and Finland performing magic was seen as a male thing, so Christians had a hard time convincing the natives witches were women. Instead men got burned and only one or two women were killed.

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Patchwork

Halloween is getting closer.

There are several stories about Denmark being made up of parts of other Nordic countries.

First there's the story about Denmark being made out of sand from Norway that got pushed down during the last ice age.

Then there's the story of the Danish woman who was told she could have as much Swedish land as she could plow around in a night, so she turned her four sons into oxes, and the land she got from the deal became a huge lake in Sweden and Zealand in Denmark.

And finally there's the story of the Danish boy who stole from a giant in Finland, then quickly got in his boat to sail back home, but the giant found out, picked up a handful of dirt and threw it at the boy, and that is how all the Danish islands were created.

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All Just a Game

Minecraft is Swedish
Angry Birds is Finnish

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All a matter of taste

To fully get this one, go here pornmd.com/sex-search

Have fun.

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Eurovision 2013

Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKewBfUE2Mg and France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8 wore similar dresses. One more sparkley than the other.

Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5iazXvMw5o Can't be seen in the video, but it started with a clip of the singer boxing the air on top of a house, followed by her singing of birds falling from rooftops...

Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EiuqczFZhQ The only way they could have made it cuter would be to have puppies perform the number.

Moldovia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xckgLUv73Jc was supposed to be a volcano, but I have to admit it reminded me more of an upside down ice cream cone because of her hair.

Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8oaxDV1q6o looked ever so adorably confused and like he was asking "I don't have any money. I hope this is good enough" which paled awfully next to Romania's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgHWFiavqjA glittery vampire that would send Edward Cullen running for his money.

Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN3d_V7KVLE had a man in a box, and was very close to winning.

And finally the Nordics.
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlBXOveVh7c had a lesbian kiss at the end of a song to her boyfriend.
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzE88IYzXLI had Marvel/Hollywood Thor.
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjb_9ngE1sE had a super tight dress.
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtjdTPnCcu0 had a guy sweeping his dancers off their feet.
And Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3f9v8ebuD4 won Eurovision with an *ahem* golden shower.

There was LOTS more going on, such as a giant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMxpv8naRd8 and hipsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOimfHq76xk but dammit, I only have so much paper.

I do think it's rather sweet though that the winning song "Only Teardrops" is actually about Europe and a plea for everyone to get along.

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Deer Hunt

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b2d_1320174279&comments=1 That's Finland for you.

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Studio Killers

I admit it. There is no joke. I just wanted to dress them up.

Studio Killers is an animated band with a Dane, a Brit, and a Finn behind it, but they prefer to stay relatively anonymous and not be confused with the characters, so while the Finn sings, I decided to just dress them up as whoever fits them best.

Yes, that is indeed Brother Denmark as Cherry because her singer is a man.

Songs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo-EmtXbFRg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGjHsLnUO1U http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCqzd-gYJXE

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Moby is a Dick

Here's the whale spotted off Svalbard's coast http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r62edSNu3U8

Most of the Nordics hunt whales, though not usually humpback whales, so that's purely for the joke.

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The Easy Way

Religion is a very private thing in the Nordic countries and not something you're supposed to tell others about, both because most people aren't religious so it would be considered rude, and also because they're such personal feelings for religious people.

So a sure way to ruin the mood is to wear a T-shirt with a religious message, or any other object that somehow show what religion you belong to, most of all because Nordics will probably be too polite to talk about it (like I said, you're not supposed to talk about religion), so it will be a huge elephant in the room and they will just sit and stare awkwardly at you, afraid they might say something that'll hurt your religious feelings.

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Swedish Army

There's a story going around that small breasted women who join the Swedish army are offered the choice of free breast implants. They're also advised to gain a little weights, all intended to make them look bigger, more butch, and matronly. In other words, big breasts are scary. :fear:

You can get a Sister Sweden poster now here http://satwcomic.com/shop/bend-over-poster The poster has been selling a lot better than I thought it would. You naughty people. ;)

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