Cross Trend

Yes, when they really want something, they grow fingers.

Denmark has a bunch of old crap. We have the oldest amusement part in the world (that’s still open), the oldest cinema (that has stayed in one place), the oldest kingdom, and of course the oldest flag that’s still in use. The other Nordic flags are basically just recoloured versions of the Danish one.

It is usually said that Betsy Ross made the first American flag, but there's a lot of versions of who designed it (One story even claims it was a French guy who did it). One version says that Washington, when having to choose a flag for the new country USA, insisted on simply taking the Danish one because he considered it “ideal for the purpose”. The Danes of course weren’t keen on this idea, but the Americans wouldn’t listen before the Danish flag designer Kasper Nielsen designed what is today known as “Stars and Stripes” and offered that instead.

The story comes from Norway and is hardly true, but it’s cute and silly non the less.

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Kiss Kiss

This was sent to me http://i.imgur.com/3SYH9.png

Apparently Sister US ships Norway/Denmark...

EDIT
shuyinda said, "And there is a place called "Kline" further down there.... Which means "to make out" in Norwegian"

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Proper Greeting

We’re not perverts! It’s tradition! Groping Norwegians is for Danes what opening Christmas presents is for everybody else: A tradition you never get tired of!

There’s a reason why the commercial says, “It’s great to be Norwegian in Denmark” ;)

We greet Swedes with a slap on the butt.

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I Love You

The Nordics saying ”I love you” in their respective languages.

Norway really tries. No, the fish was not an accident. It’s supposed to be there. Fish and skis is the traditional getup for Norwegian men when trying to impress a lady. Flowers and bowties are just fancy modern stuff, but you gotta' keep with the time.

Inspired by this http://humon.deviantart.com/#/d2rnwtw
The little thing at Denmark’s feet is a ghost that will show up in a later comic. I had never drawn it before and doodled it on the top of the page, then realized that it would look cute next to Denmark here.

Sweden is giving Åland an USB key instead of flowers. Then America jump in pointing and yelling, “GEEKS!!!”
What? No, he wouldn’t yell that other thing. They’re not birds with long pink necks, silly head.

There’s a posibility that Iceland isn’t actually asexual, but self-sexual. We will never know, because the result is the same: We’re not getting a piece of him.

Finland with Sister Sweden because nobody else can make him say it. Yes, he has to be all special and say it in a way the rest of us don’t understand! >:C

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Just a Number

So, uh, yeah. We have the same number system as everybody else, but we say the numbers a bit funny here in Denmark. Swedes and especially Norwegians love to make fun of that.

In case you’re wondering what numbers Denmark is saying it’s:
10 cows, 34 pigs, 52 chickens, 193 eggs, 261 nuts, which he then changes to 371 nuts.

Not even Danes will recognize these numbers the way I wrote them in English, but I was being an extreme pronunciation nazi and writing them almost exactly like they’re said in Danish.

The thing that really confuse our Northern neighbors is that with a number like 52 we don’t say “fifty two” but “two and fifty” which sounds like “two fifty”. And our word for fifty sounds like “half sixty” and 90 sounds like “half fives” and it just goes on like that.

You are allowed to be confused. And Norway had to put up with that for 300 years.

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Boys will be Boys

Oh Sweden, ever the prude.

Ever since I started making these comics people have suggested that I should make one where the landmass of the countries equals penis size. That just seemed a little too obvious for me, but then it was suggested that it should be the population compared to the landmass of the countries. I thought that would be funnier and make more sense because population is a “hidden” number. Just like you can’t tell penis size just by looking at the overall size of a guy, you can’t tell a country’s population.

In Scandinavia the numbers from 2000 look something like this:
Iceland - 272,000
Norway - 4,400,000
Finland - 5,171,000
Denmark - 5,330,000
Sweden - 8,861,000

Obviously Sweden is quite well equipped compared to the others.
Also, to be more fair, islands that are part of a country have the same size as said country. That of course means their private parts shrink when they become their own country *looks at Iceland*.

This should not be applied to other countries, especially those that already have a stereotype for their privates. Please think of the poor Canadians! D:

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Bed Buddies

There’s your answer! Are you happy now!? ARE YOU!!?

Heh, that question got very popular after this journal http://humon.deviantart.com/journal/32744945/
Like Sweden would even know the answer. He is too busy covering up who he is sleeping with to notice what (and who) Norway and Denmark are doing.

I also stumbled over this cute little cartoon written and voiced by a Norwegian and animated in Canada about a Norwegian and a Dane falling in love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTef0HWbW_M&playnext_from=TL&videos=FNJ7DdlDuWU

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N00bs off the road

It’s probably only Icelanders who will get this without an explanation.

In Denmark we have a large bicycle culture and is even in the top three over the most bicycle friendly countries in the world (Either number three or two depending on the list. Holland is always number one). I only know one person who doesn’t own a bike, and people will assume a person was neglected as a child if they can’t ride one (I don’t know a single person who can’t).

Therefore the safety of cyclists is a high priority when making roads, and you will find bicycle paths everywhere that has a lot of traffic. The bicycle paths are often on the same level as the sidewalk, and in some places there is nothing to tell you where the sidewalk ends and the bicycle path start. That is not a problem for Danes because we grew up with it and knows where the invisible line goes.

But Icelanders are not so lucky. Bicycles are fairly rare on the island, and bicycle paths almost non existent. So when they come to Denmark they think the bicycle paths are also for walking.
In Denmark however it’s considered extremely rude to walk on the bicycles path, and if you don’t move when we ring our bell, then you’re just looking for a fight!

Therefore a lot of Icelanders have stories of how they almost got ran over or yelled at by angry Danes on bikes. So it has become a bit of a joke that Danes on bikes target Icelanders when we see them.

Denmark is teaching Norway to ride a bike here because even though Norway is also a very bicycle friendly country, they don’t have the same large bike culture because of all the mountains. But I also just thought it would be cute for Denmark to try and teach Norway something for once.

A little video about the use of bikes in Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_8dGodhGtI&playnext_from=TL&videos=RKsPejKpqTM

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Questionable Invasion

Years ago I watched a Danish program where a clairvoyant mentioned that Denmark had a lot of “Star People” but didn’t specify what that was. I thought she meant “star gazers” (babies that a born facing upwards).

Then a couple of months ago I watched an American program where an English clairvoyant was visiting sights around America. At one point he got out of the car in a small town and said, “Interesting. This town has 8 or 9 Star People. That’s unusual”
“What are Star People?” the host asked.
“A higher race of beings who are visiting us from far away stars, and are born as humans. They’re quite rare in America so it’s really impressive that a small town like this has that many”
“Don’t they like our president?” the host joked.
“Maybe” he smiled “They’re born all over the world, but for some reason most of them choose Scandinavia”
“What are they doing there?”
“Nobody knows, but it’s quite overwhelming how many go there. In fact, last time I visited Denmark two years ago, 1 out of 5 people were Star People, and the number seems to be increasing. I’ve been told it’s the same in Sweden and Norway, and a lot of Star People who were born in other places are drawn to the countries. We are many who are just waiting to see what happens”

Then they started talking about something else, but the mental picture of Scandinavians as aliens is quite funny.

So be afraid, great nations of the world! For we have come to conquer the Earth, and will not rest before every man, woman and child eats pickled herring, visits Legoland every year and rests in Ikea furniture! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDZBgHBHQT8

...By god. We’re the lamest aliens ever.

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Eurovision 2010

Eurovision is a freaking joke-goldmine to me!

Norway won last year, so they hosted. This was their song this year http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dATI0iblbZo

Sweden didn’t get in this year, and usually they’re among the favourites. The Swedes were not happy about that at all, and there has been a lot of talk about boycotting Eurovision next year. The song that didn’t get in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJFxV-pbRB4&playnext_from=TL&videos=67lNKxMIvYk

Finland didn’t get in either, but they didn’t make much of a fuss. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhcGUy8KeQE&playnext_from=TL&videos=7Avxetrdz_k

Iceland gave 12 points to Denmark but only got 3 in return. They were not happy about that at all, and they have made Facebook groups just to complain about that. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFrGSAKB5bo

Denmark ended up as number 4, which pissed the Swedes off because the song writer originally offered it to them but they said no, so instead Denmark chose it. Denmark’s song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBUHxPNQa1w&playnext_from=TL&videos=V_FNr_ofmvk

Spain had trouble with a fan who ran onto the stage and meddled with the dancers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iF0iI3YfUU&playnext_from=TL&videos=E9j7fyiuU6E

Greece had a very testerone fuiled show and “OPA!” has become a quite popular word. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPHOFpdP_Cc&playnext_from=TL&videos=I4Jc-U3Rg-w

UK came in last as they often do. They say it's because everybody hates the. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Dc5yza1kQk&playnext_from=TL&videos=e9efo2C6E90

Turkey got in second place, and will be remembered for a long time for their “robot” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XwlTisbPdw&playnext_from=TL&videos=8K_nhQSocbc

And of course Germany won with the song “Satellite” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbM5l1ZPrHw&playnext_from=TL&videos=f58ugwRNUO4
I have to admit that I love when countries that enter with a minimal stage show wins.

Oh, and a small group of Americans had sneaked in were waving American flags. So out of place and silly.

And let's never forget the wonderful flash dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiLUcYLLhnw&feature
Gotta' love the woman in the Swedish house who waves a gay pride flag. Oh Sweden, your closet is so transparent.

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