Just a Number

So, uh, yeah. We have the same number system as everybody else, but we say the numbers a bit funny here in Denmark. Swedes and especially Norwegians love to make fun of that.

In case you’re wondering what numbers Denmark is saying it’s:
10 cows, 34 pigs, 52 chickens, 193 eggs, 261 nuts, which he then changes to 371 nuts.

Not even Danes will recognize these numbers the way I wrote them in English, but I was being an extreme pronunciation nazi and writing them almost exactly like they’re said in Danish.

The thing that really confuse our Northern neighbors is that with a number like 52 we don’t say “fifty two” but “two and fifty” which sounds like “two fifty”. And our word for fifty sounds like “half sixty” and 90 sounds like “half fives” and it just goes on like that.

You are allowed to be confused. And Norway had to put up with that for 300 years.

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Boys will be Boys

Oh Sweden, ever the prude.

Ever since I started making these comics people have suggested that I should make one where the landmass of the countries equals penis size. That just seemed a little too obvious for me, but then it was suggested that it should be the population compared to the landmass of the countries. I thought that would be funnier and make more sense because population is a “hidden” number. Just like you can’t tell penis size just by looking at the overall size of a guy, you can’t tell a country’s population.

In Scandinavia the numbers from 2000 look something like this:
Iceland - 272,000
Norway - 4,400,000
Finland - 5,171,000
Denmark - 5,330,000
Sweden - 8,861,000

Obviously Sweden is quite well equipped compared to the others.
Also, to be more fair, islands that are part of a country have the same size as said country. That of course means their private parts shrink when they become their own country *looks at Iceland*.

This should not be applied to other countries, especially those that already have a stereotype for their privates. Please think of the poor Canadians! D:

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Bed Buddies

There’s your answer! Are you happy now!? ARE YOU!!?

Heh, that question got very popular after this journal http://humon.deviantart.com/journal/32744945/
Like Sweden would even know the answer. He is too busy covering up who he is sleeping with to notice what (and who) Norway and Denmark are doing.

I also stumbled over this cute little cartoon written and voiced by a Norwegian and animated in Canada about a Norwegian and a Dane falling in love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTef0HWbW_M&playnext_from=TL&videos=FNJ7DdlDuWU

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Talk to Me 2

For those who doesn’t understand the reference http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY_Yf4zz-yo
Ironically the Swedish Chef is actually the Danish Chef in Germany.

Danes are not all that good at Swedish, despite the languages being quite similar.

Someone will probably ask, “Why do they keep switching between talking Swedish/Danish and English?”
The answer: So non-Swedes and non-Danes can understand what is going on, obviously.

And just to avoid an awkward situation when you meet a Dane and feels like telling him/her that you love them, Denmark is not saying “I love you” but “I love my mistress”

Talk to Me 1 http://humon.deviantart.com/art/Talk-to-Me-1-167033304

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Talk to Me 1

Talking Swedish hurts so bad in his Finnish soul! And yet, non of the other Nordics speak it better than him. D:

As you can see, I’m moving further and further away from the idea that Finland can’t talk at all. Instead I now prefer to think that he just doesn’t want to talk, and when he does, it’s in Finnish (or as here, Swedish).

That way achieve two things.
1: Everybody who doesn’t understand Finnish still don’t understand what he says, meaning he might as well be mute.
2: It illustrates that Finnish is significantly different from the other Nordic languages.

Someone will probably ask, “Why does she keep switching between talking Swedish and English?”
The answer: So non-Swedes can understand what is going on, obviously.

And just to avoid an awkward situation when you meet a Swede and feels like telling him/her that you love them, Finland is not saying “I love you” but “I love my mistress”

Talk to me 2 http://www.deviantart.com/#/d2rg3t3

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Women's Rights

The result of a conversation that got started by the “Love Finland” picture, about what it means to be a feminist and what men gain or loose from female rights, that started out serious but ended up being ridicules, and we both agreed that we had to stop when we started talking about “The Strapon of Women’s Rights”

I've gotten quite fond of the idea that Finland has an odd fetish for feminists. Sadly, non of the crazy feminazis want to touch him because he has a penis, so he’ll have to do with Sister Sweden who doesn't give a crap about women's rights, but is willing to pretend that she does.

And for the curious, yes, there is something underneath the censor bar. A pink strapon with female symbols on it.
I promise this will be the last strapon picture for quite a while.

EDIT: I'm a feminist myself, so you don't have to tell me what it is. This is just for fun. ;)

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Who's your daddy?

All the children in SatW are completely fucked.

Scania is the most southern part of Sweden which used to be part of Denmark. A lot of people from Scania work in Denmark and the other way around because they’re connected by a bridge, and every year a group of people from the rest of Sweden comes down to the border of Scania and a group from Scania does the same, and together they start digging along the border. The plan is to separate Scania from the rest of Sweden.

And yes, Sister Sweden is making a reference to this http://humon.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2qv9uv because I'm a horrible person.

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Questionable Invasion

Years ago I watched a Danish program where a clairvoyant mentioned that Denmark had a lot of “Star People” but didn’t specify what that was. I thought she meant “star gazers” (babies that a born facing upwards).

Then a couple of months ago I watched an American program where an English clairvoyant was visiting sights around America. At one point he got out of the car in a small town and said, “Interesting. This town has 8 or 9 Star People. That’s unusual”
“What are Star People?” the host asked.
“A higher race of beings who are visiting us from far away stars, and are born as humans. They’re quite rare in America so it’s really impressive that a small town like this has that many”
“Don’t they like our president?” the host joked.
“Maybe” he smiled “They’re born all over the world, but for some reason most of them choose Scandinavia”
“What are they doing there?”
“Nobody knows, but it’s quite overwhelming how many go there. In fact, last time I visited Denmark two years ago, 1 out of 5 people were Star People, and the number seems to be increasing. I’ve been told it’s the same in Sweden and Norway, and a lot of Star People who were born in other places are drawn to the countries. We are many who are just waiting to see what happens”

Then they started talking about something else, but the mental picture of Scandinavians as aliens is quite funny.

So be afraid, great nations of the world! For we have come to conquer the Earth, and will not rest before every man, woman and child eats pickled herring, visits Legoland every year and rests in Ikea furniture! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDZBgHBHQT8

...By god. We’re the lamest aliens ever.

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Eurovision 2010

Eurovision is a freaking joke-goldmine to me!

Norway won last year, so they hosted. This was their song this year http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dATI0iblbZo

Sweden didn’t get in this year, and usually they’re among the favourites. The Swedes were not happy about that at all, and there has been a lot of talk about boycotting Eurovision next year. The song that didn’t get in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJFxV-pbRB4&playnext_from=TL&videos=67lNKxMIvYk

Finland didn’t get in either, but they didn’t make much of a fuss. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhcGUy8KeQE&playnext_from=TL&videos=7Avxetrdz_k

Iceland gave 12 points to Denmark but only got 3 in return. They were not happy about that at all, and they have made Facebook groups just to complain about that. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFrGSAKB5bo

Denmark ended up as number 4, which pissed the Swedes off because the song writer originally offered it to them but they said no, so instead Denmark chose it. Denmark’s song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBUHxPNQa1w&playnext_from=TL&videos=V_FNr_ofmvk

Spain had trouble with a fan who ran onto the stage and meddled with the dancers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iF0iI3YfUU&playnext_from=TL&videos=E9j7fyiuU6E

Greece had a very testerone fuiled show and “OPA!” has become a quite popular word. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPHOFpdP_Cc&playnext_from=TL&videos=I4Jc-U3Rg-w

UK came in last as they often do. They say it's because everybody hates the. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Dc5yza1kQk&playnext_from=TL&videos=e9efo2C6E90

Turkey got in second place, and will be remembered for a long time for their “robot” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XwlTisbPdw&playnext_from=TL&videos=8K_nhQSocbc

And of course Germany won with the song “Satellite” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbM5l1ZPrHw&playnext_from=TL&videos=f58ugwRNUO4
I have to admit that I love when countries that enter with a minimal stage show wins.

Oh, and a small group of Americans had sneaked in were waving American flags. So out of place and silly.

And let's never forget the wonderful flash dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiLUcYLLhnw&feature
Gotta' love the woman in the Swedish house who waves a gay pride flag. Oh Sweden, your closet is so transparent.

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How Babies are Made

And that is the story of how Sweden became a daddy.
Just in case you can’t tell, no he didn’t marry Sister Finland. He is just a responsible gentleman who knows he got himself into this, so he is not even going to try to walk out on his obligations as a father.

And yes, little FennoSwede believes himself to be quite awesome despite his parents.
Fenno-swedes are Finns who live in Finland, but speak Swedish, and they are often seen as more rich, snobbish and annoyingly happy compared to the rest of Finland’s population.

Some of you might have noticed that the people in Scania and the fenno-swedes use the same flag. I believe that is going to be hella’ confusing, but I’ll try and remember to tell you who is who if it isn’t clear from the comic.

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