You have no secrets

Heh, saw this exchange of words in quite a few places on the internet after Eurovision was over.

But yes, we get most American TV and news over here.

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Eurovision 2013

Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKewBfUE2Mg and France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8 wore similar dresses. One more sparkley than the other.

Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5iazXvMw5o Can't be seen in the video, but it started with a clip of the singer boxing the air on top of a house, followed by her singing of birds falling from rooftops...

Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EiuqczFZhQ The only way they could have made it cuter would be to have puppies perform the number.

Moldovia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xckgLUv73Jc was supposed to be a volcano, but I have to admit it reminded me more of an upside down ice cream cone because of her hair.

Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8oaxDV1q6o looked ever so adorably confused and like he was asking "I don't have any money. I hope this is good enough" which paled awfully next to Romania's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgHWFiavqjA glittery vampire that would send Edward Cullen running for his money.

Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN3d_V7KVLE had a man in a box, and was very close to winning.

And finally the Nordics.
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlBXOveVh7c had a lesbian kiss at the end of a song to her boyfriend.
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzE88IYzXLI had Marvel/Hollywood Thor.
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjb_9ngE1sE had a super tight dress.
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtjdTPnCcu0 had a guy sweeping his dancers off their feet.
And Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3f9v8ebuD4 won Eurovision with an *ahem* golden shower.

There was LOTS more going on, such as a giant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMxpv8naRd8 and hipsters http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOimfHq76xk but dammit, I only have so much paper.

I do think it's rather sweet though that the winning song "Only Teardrops" is actually about Europe and a plea for everyone to get along.

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Never Happened

Far more people in England than USA think the moon landing never happened.

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Not Okay

The Norwegians are very proud of their cheese cutter, so when I told them most Danes use the other type they were not impressed.

"I've never even SEEN that type. How does that even WORK? Oh my god, that's so STUPID!" XD

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Taking Over

Stupid small classy and big pink birds taking over USA.

You'll need a good memory to understand this one. ;)

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Chako Paul City

The myth that there's a big lesbian city in Sweden started on the Chinese news, and then spread to Japan and South Korea. The Asian men were so eager to learn more about this magical place that the Swedish tourist sites crashed and when they could no longer use the internet, the men started calling.

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Deer Hunt

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b2d_1320174279&comments=1 That's Finland for you.

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My Little Pony

The horse meat episode. We had the same problem in Denmark a few years back, but no one cared.

Well, besides the Muslims and Jews who were not happy at all about the pig. But the hose? Pfff I say! Pfff!

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It's all about the children

http://www.inquisitr.com/489644/welsh-man-wrestles-shark-to-protect-children-on-the-beach-video/ That is all you need.

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Land of the Free-est

Guest comic strip by Awut:

Based off the "Which country has the most freedom" articles in the news recently. (us Americans were very upset that we weren't ranked #1 :'D )

http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/nz-leads-worldwide-in-human-freedom-5314956
http://www.fraserinstitute.org/uploadedFiles/fraser-ca/Content/research-news/research/publications/ch3-an-index-of-freedom-in-the-world.pdf (pdf)

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Artwork and joke by Awut http://awutcomic.com/

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