Sauna Time

Well, Finland is a mute! He couldn’t tell them what they were supposed to do, so he had to show them!

I just knew people were wondering what Finland’s hair looks like, and seeing as I never intended it to be a mystery, here it is.

And don’t worry. I won’t stop drawing these comics for a loooooong time. You just won’t get a new one every single day.

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Reality Hits

America is getting darker. It won’t be long before white people are a minority.

America does not like!
And his hair is of course not turning black because it's bleached.

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The Oresund Song

Heh, the song they’re listening to is ”The Oresund Song” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6Hndsyfn6M

A translation of the whole song won’t be necessary. All I need to tell you is that it’s about a Swede and a Dane who are in love and “enjoying each other’s company” on Oresund (The water that separates Denmark from Sweden and Norway) Then a Norwegian shows up and asks if he can join, which they think is a great idea, and they all proceed to have very gentle sex in the boat. I think the video explains everything else.

I imagine that right after this, Sweden starts wacking Norway with his fishing-rod to get him to turn of the radio.

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How to deal with animals

A friend and I were watching the nature program “Life in Cold Blood” with the very British David Attenborough as the host, when my friend said, “Look at him standing there with his hands in his pockets, just talking about the animals. Try comparing him to Steve Irwin. If he was still around he would have jumped out of nowhere and wrestled that thing!”

And the mental image was just too funny for me to ignore.

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Tall food is good food

Ah yes. Smørrebrød. Apparently the most famous part of the Danish kitchen.

For those who don’t know what that is, American’s usually translate it to “open sandwich” even though the direct translation would be “buttered bread”. Basically you take a thin slice of bread (can be white or dark, though smørrebrød with white bread is seen as children’s food) and put thin slices of...whatever you want really on top of it. It is then eaten with knife and fork, because the whole thing can get so tall that it would fall apart if you tried to lift it off the plate. Often the topping completely hides the bread underneath.
This is what it looks like http://www.sst.dk/publ/publ1999/spisbedre/SUSBOP/Dokument/smorrebr.gif

We eat it all the freaking time. At home, work and even parties.
A popular version in my family is dark bread with curry-herring (which as the name suggest, is herring dipped in curry) with shrimps on top, and on top of that slices of egg, finally sprinkled with raw onion, chive, salt and pepper. It may sound awful, but don’t diss it till you’ve tried it.

But the American would no doubt win the eating contest anyway. I once went to a restaurant that served noting but American food, and my friend and I quickly agreed that we would have to share a meal that was supposed to be for one person. My god you people can eat a lot of food.

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Stop Talking

A very Scandinavian joke.

Swedes and Norwegians (and Icelanders) almost sound like they’re singing when they speak, while Danish is remarkable in that it has no accent at all. It’s very flat, not unlike German. Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the same language, so to them it sound like “Danes are speaking with a potato in their mouth”

But now the secret is out. We don't actually talk like that when we're alone. We only do it to annoy Swedes and Norwegians.

And yay! Norwegians making fun of the Danish language http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk
And a Dane making fun of the Norwegian language http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJtRcoTF0S4 (Danish without subtitles. Sorry)

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Long Cold Nights

I have had this comic on my computer for a month now, because I wasn’t sure if I should post it. Too much naked skin.
Then I showed it to a friend who said I had to post it. I’m still a little nervous about it though, so let’s see for how long this will stay here. ^^;

Anyway, this comic is based on the “What happened in the Nordic people’s huts doing those long cold winter nights” jokes.
I once had a substitute history teacher who was very fond of insinuating that all countries in the north f***ed like rabbits as soon as they had a bit to drink and the first snow fell, and prevented the Vikings from getting their rocks on in England. She was a crazy but fun lady.

Another joke in here, is that the Finns claim that the only reason why Swedish women get pregnant is because the Finnish men come over to help them out.

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Wonderful Nature

Denmark is an incredibly safe aka. uneventful place to live.

We have the least corrupt politicians and law enforcements in the world. We have a low crime rate, and we have never had something like a serial killer because the country is so small that if you kill someone you will have nowhere to hide, and we have a good relationship with our surrounding countries so if you try to hide in any of them, the Danish police will be called up by Sweden/Norway/Germany and asked, “Hey, we have a weird Dane running around. You’re looking for him or something?”
Even our nature is ridiculously safe. We have no nature catastrophes like hurricanes, earthquakes or big forest fires. No mountains to fall from. Our biggest predator is the fox, and our only poisonous snake is only sort of lethal if your old or sick.

So when a moose swam from Sweden to Denmark, we freaked out! Because what if it stepped on someone!?
It either got shot or hit by a train (can't remember which) but believe me, if it was still around it would most likely have killed someone, because Danes have no idea what to do around big wild animals.

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Healthcare

How most Scandinavians feel about the American healthcare system.

In Scandinavia we pay for healthcare though our taxes, which means we all pay for each other, and nobody thinks twice about going to the doctor because we’ve already paid for it. We also have private care for those rich people who don't want to wait in line.

But before you declare the American system “OMG!!! EVUL!!!”, remember that we Scandinavians also pay the highest taxes in the world.

We up her like it the way it is, but you Americans will have to decide for yourself.

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The Love Story of Bornholm

Aw, poor Norway. Nobody ever tells him what is going on.
Bornholm, the only on of Denmark’s far away islands that actually likes Denmark and consider themselves to be Danes (Though not quite the same kind of Danes as the rest of us).

Scania is the very south of Sweden, and even though it belongs to Sweden now, a lot of people feel that it’s still part of Denmark, and the rest of Sweden think that they’re pretty weird.

The story behind this comic is that Sweden once defeated Denmark, and the Danish king had to give up most of Denmark and parts of Norway (which was under Denmark at the time) so as not to loose the entire kingdom.
But the Swedish king was a bit of a bully at the time, and Bornholm quickly grew tired of being part of Sweden, so they killed as many Swedes as they could get their hands on, until the rest finally left.
Then they went back to Denmark and told the king that they would be part of his kingdom again if he promised to never give them away like that again. They just liked Denmark that much.

Apart from the killing Swedes part, I think it’s actually a pretty cute story.

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