Questionable Invasion

Years ago I watched a Danish program where a clairvoyant mentioned that Denmark had a lot of “Star People” but didn’t specify what that was. I thought she meant “star gazers” (babies that a born facing upwards).

Then a couple of months ago I watched an American program where an English clairvoyant was visiting sights around America. At one point he got out of the car in a small town and said, “Interesting. This town has 8 or 9 Star People. That’s unusual”
“What are Star People?” the host asked.
“A higher race of beings who are visiting us from far away stars, and are born as humans. They’re quite rare in America so it’s really impressive that a small town like this has that many”
“Don’t they like our president?” the host joked.
“Maybe” he smiled “They’re born all over the world, but for some reason most of them choose Scandinavia”
“What are they doing there?”
“Nobody knows, but it’s quite overwhelming how many go there. In fact, last time I visited Denmark two years ago, 1 out of 5 people were Star People, and the number seems to be increasing. I’ve been told it’s the same in Sweden and Norway, and a lot of Star People who were born in other places are drawn to the countries. We are many who are just waiting to see what happens”

Then they started talking about something else, but the mental picture of Scandinavians as aliens is quite funny.

So be afraid, great nations of the world! For we have come to conquer the Earth, and will not rest before every man, woman and child eats pickled herring, visits Legoland every year and rests in Ikea furniture! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDZBgHBHQT8

...By god. We’re the lamest aliens ever.

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Eurovision 2010

Eurovision is a freaking joke-goldmine to me!

Norway won last year, so they hosted. This was their song this year http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dATI0iblbZo

Sweden didn’t get in this year, and usually they’re among the favourites. The Swedes were not happy about that at all, and there has been a lot of talk about boycotting Eurovision next year. The song that didn’t get in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJFxV-pbRB4&playnext_from=TL&videos=67lNKxMIvYk

Finland didn’t get in either, but they didn’t make much of a fuss. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhcGUy8KeQE&playnext_from=TL&videos=7Avxetrdz_k

Iceland gave 12 points to Denmark but only got 3 in return. They were not happy about that at all, and they have made Facebook groups just to complain about that. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFrGSAKB5bo

Denmark ended up as number 4, which pissed the Swedes off because the song writer originally offered it to them but they said no, so instead Denmark chose it. Denmark’s song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBUHxPNQa1w&playnext_from=TL&videos=V_FNr_ofmvk

Spain had trouble with a fan who ran onto the stage and meddled with the dancers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iF0iI3YfUU&playnext_from=TL&videos=E9j7fyiuU6E

Greece had a very testerone fuiled show and “OPA!” has become a quite popular word. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPHOFpdP_Cc&playnext_from=TL&videos=I4Jc-U3Rg-w

UK came in last as they often do. They say it's because everybody hates the. Their song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Dc5yza1kQk&playnext_from=TL&videos=e9efo2C6E90

Turkey got in second place, and will be remembered for a long time for their “robot” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XwlTisbPdw&playnext_from=TL&videos=8K_nhQSocbc

And of course Germany won with the song “Satellite” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbM5l1ZPrHw&playnext_from=TL&videos=f58ugwRNUO4
I have to admit that I love when countries that enter with a minimal stage show wins.

Oh, and a small group of Americans had sneaked in were waving American flags. So out of place and silly.

And let's never forget the wonderful flash dance http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiLUcYLLhnw&feature
Gotta' love the woman in the Swedish house who waves a gay pride flag. Oh Sweden, your closet is so transparent.

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How Babies are Made

And that is the story of how Sweden became a daddy.
Just in case you can’t tell, no he didn’t marry Sister Finland. He is just a responsible gentleman who knows he got himself into this, so he is not even going to try to walk out on his obligations as a father.

And yes, little FennoSwede believes himself to be quite awesome despite his parents.
Fenno-swedes are Finns who live in Finland, but speak Swedish, and they are often seen as more rich, snobbish and annoyingly happy compared to the rest of Finland’s population.

Some of you might have noticed that the people in Scania and the fenno-swedes use the same flag. I believe that is going to be hella’ confusing, but I’ll try and remember to tell you who is who if it isn’t clear from the comic.

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Don't mess with Aland

I promised myself that I wouldn’t post another Åland comic so soon after the last one, but after reading about The Kumlinge Battle I had to.

During the Finnish war Russia chased the Swedish soldiers off of Åland. Then they went home, but left about 450 well trained soldiers behind in case the Swedes would come back. The soldiers started getting bossy and tried commanding the Ålanders around and make them harvest their grain for them. The Ålanders were not happy about that at all, so a few sneaked back to Sweden and said, “They want us to work for them, but we will stay faithful to the Swedish king. We are ready to do anything, but we need help!”
The Swedes wanted to help, but could only effort to send a few soldiers and guns for the farmers. With their new weapons the Ålanders, all farmers who had no military training whatsoever, sneaked up on the Russian soldiers and surprised them. In fact the Ålanders were so vicious and good that the Russians thought they were up against an army of Swedish soldiers and decided to surrender.
Across from the battlefield the Ålanders looked confused on as Russians started waving white flags. Because they had no military training they didn’t understand the signal, and just kept shooting! The Russiand must have thought they were crazy.
It didn’t stop before some Swedish soldiers saw what was going on and told them to stop. Great was the Russians’ humiliation when they realised they had surrenders to farmers!
Only three people dired during the battle.

Sweden was so very proud of Åland that day.

As http://gefreitervonadler.deviantart.com/ put it: “So don't mess with Åland. The only reason he has agreed to all the non-fortification and non-militarisation treaties since the Crimean war and the destruction of Bomarsund is that he is so badass that he does not need them.” ;)

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Dysfunctional Family

People become crazy axe murders for various reasons.

Inspired by a comment to one of my pictures, “It’s incredible how such a small island like Åland can keep a whole country on it’s toes. It’s like Åland rules Finland and not the other way around!”

Obviously I’m overdoing the real Finland and Åland’s relationship, but I had to illustrate just how much of a troll Åland can be to Finland, because he is the only male character who isn’t afraid of Finland at all. He has been playing his cards perfectly from the start, and now he has Finland by the balls, so to speak.

Besides, Finland needs to be put in his place every now and then. Yes, their family is a little dysfunctional at times. ;)

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Three Drunks

I was going though some old sketches of these guys that I made back around the first comics, and one was a watercolour sketch of them drinking together. I thought it was cute but horribly drawn, so I decided to remake it.

I think it was supposed to be a joke on how a lot of Swedes and Norwegians come to Denmark for cheap, easy-to-get beer, which is why they’re obviously drinking some Danish brew. In fact, back when I was making up the characters I almost made Sweden a drunk, because that’s the Danish stereotype of a Swede. That’s all we ever see of the Swedes in the streets of Copenhagen.

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Clothes Confusion

Inspired by something I witnessed on a bus once. I sat opposite of two women in nikabs, which is a rare sight around here (usually it’s just scarfs). Then a bunch of kindergarten children got on, and when they saw the women, one little boy yelled “Ninjas!” and all the other children more or less went, “Oooooooh!”.

Their teacher tried to explain that the women weren’t ninjas, but I later heard two of the boys speculate on whatever or not the women were hiding their awesome ninja swords under their clothes.

One of the most entertaining bus rides I’ve ever been on.

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Gay Eggs

If you’re unsure of how America and his sister got the idea that gays are penguins/flamingos just google “gay penguins” and “gay flamingos”.

A lot of people have suggested that Sister America should be a hippie Liberal to counter America’s religious Republican, but I have to admit that I ignored those ideas simply because Sister America is far from a hippie.

But then someone came with the brilliant idea that she should be a Hollywood Liberal who like a parrot just repeats what others have said without really knowing what she’s talking about. That fitted perfectly with America who is just quoting the Bible without really understanding it.

I like to think of them as having the mentality of teenagers. They want to make the world a better place and think they have all the answers, but they have yet to understand how it all works. They'll get there eventually.

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God Hates Sweden

I’ve been wanting to make this comic for a long time, but couldn’t figure out who Sweden should be with. Åland, you saved my day!

Some time ago I got linked to this site godhatessweden.com/filthymanneroflife.html
It’s an American site made by The Westboro Baptist Church and it's dedicated to all the countries God hates, and apparently he hates Sweden the most for various reasons, but mainly because it’s (Dun Dun Duuun!!) one of the most gay friendly countries in the world (If not the most gay friendly! Dun Dun Duuun!).

Only problem is, Sweden is also one of the least religious countries in the world, so he doesn’t really care.

In fact, the latest top five over the least religious countries in the world looks like this:
1.Estonia
2.Sweden
3.Denmark
4.Norway
5.Czech Republic

(With USA as number 44)

We’re not big on religion in the North.

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Happy Birthday Norway

Today is the day when Norway yelled a big fat ”Screw You!” to Denmark and Sweden and got his own constitution.

No country celebrates it’s independent day like Norway. You Americans may think you do a pretty good job a celebrating yours, but you’ve got nothing on Norway. This is what May 17 looks like in the land of the midnight sun http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://gulaykocbay07.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/norge.jpg Lots of flags and national costumes.

Like my Norwegian co-worker ones said, “You stand around in your national costume that is way too hot and sings songs louder than you would ever dare on a normal day, and yet you feel so proud”

The Danish radio station I listen to at work celebrated it by playing Norwegian music all morning.

PS: Yes, that cake does indeed taste like fish, because that is how Sweden makes food. Norway loved it, and Denmark just ate buns.

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