Boys will be Boys

Oh Sweden, ever the prude.

Ever since I started making these comics people have suggested that I should make one where the landmass of the countries equals penis size. That just seemed a little too obvious for me, but then it was suggested that it should be the population compared to the landmass of the countries. I thought that would be funnier and make more sense because population is a “hidden” number. Just like you can’t tell penis size just by looking at the overall size of a guy, you can’t tell a country’s population.

In Scandinavia the numbers from 2000 look something like this:
Iceland - 272,000
Norway - 4,400,000
Finland - 5,171,000
Denmark - 5,330,000
Sweden - 8,861,000

Obviously Sweden is quite well equipped compared to the others.
Also, to be more fair, islands that are part of a country have the same size as said country. That of course means their private parts shrink when they become their own country *looks at Iceland*.

This should not be applied to other countries, especially those that already have a stereotype for their privates. Please think of the poor Canadians! D:

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Matter of Perspective

Don't be silly, Canada.

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Bed Buddies

There’s your answer! Are you happy now!? ARE YOU!!?

Heh, that question got very popular after this journal http://humon.deviantart.com/journal/32744945/
Like Sweden would even know the answer. He is too busy covering up who he is sleeping with to notice what (and who) Norway and Denmark are doing.

I also stumbled over this cute little cartoon written and voiced by a Norwegian and animated in Canada about a Norwegian and a Dane falling in love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTef0HWbW_M&playnext_from=TL&videos=FNJ7DdlDuWU

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N00bs off the road

It’s probably only Icelanders who will get this without an explanation.

In Denmark we have a large bicycle culture and is even in the top three over the most bicycle friendly countries in the world (Either number three or two depending on the list. Holland is always number one). I only know one person who doesn’t own a bike, and people will assume a person was neglected as a child if they can’t ride one (I don’t know a single person who can’t).

Therefore the safety of cyclists is a high priority when making roads, and you will find bicycle paths everywhere that has a lot of traffic. The bicycle paths are often on the same level as the sidewalk, and in some places there is nothing to tell you where the sidewalk ends and the bicycle path start. That is not a problem for Danes because we grew up with it and knows where the invisible line goes.

But Icelanders are not so lucky. Bicycles are fairly rare on the island, and bicycle paths almost non existent. So when they come to Denmark they think the bicycle paths are also for walking.
In Denmark however it’s considered extremely rude to walk on the bicycles path, and if you don’t move when we ring our bell, then you’re just looking for a fight!

Therefore a lot of Icelanders have stories of how they almost got ran over or yelled at by angry Danes on bikes. So it has become a bit of a joke that Danes on bikes target Icelanders when we see them.

Denmark is teaching Norway to ride a bike here because even though Norway is also a very bicycle friendly country, they don’t have the same large bike culture because of all the mountains. But I also just thought it would be cute for Denmark to try and teach Norway something for once.

A little video about the use of bikes in Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_8dGodhGtI&playnext_from=TL&videos=RKsPejKpqTM

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Talk to Me 2

For those who doesn’t understand the reference http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY_Yf4zz-yo
Ironically the Swedish Chef is actually the Danish Chef in Germany.

Danes are not all that good at Swedish, despite the languages being quite similar.

Someone will probably ask, “Why do they keep switching between talking Swedish/Danish and English?”
The answer: So non-Swedes and non-Danes can understand what is going on, obviously.

And just to avoid an awkward situation when you meet a Dane and feels like telling him/her that you love them, Denmark is not saying “I love you” but “I love my mistress”

Talk to Me 1 http://humon.deviantart.com/art/Talk-to-Me-1-167033304

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Talk to Me 1

Talking Swedish hurts so bad in his Finnish soul! And yet, non of the other Nordics speak it better than him. D:

As you can see, I’m moving further and further away from the idea that Finland can’t talk at all. Instead I now prefer to think that he just doesn’t want to talk, and when he does, it’s in Finnish (or as here, Swedish).

That way achieve two things.
1: Everybody who doesn’t understand Finnish still don’t understand what he says, meaning he might as well be mute.
2: It illustrates that Finnish is significantly different from the other Nordic languages.

Someone will probably ask, “Why does she keep switching between talking Swedish and English?”
The answer: So non-Swedes can understand what is going on, obviously.

And just to avoid an awkward situation when you meet a Swede and feels like telling him/her that you love them, Finland is not saying “I love you” but “I love my mistress”

Talk to me 2 http://www.deviantart.com/#/d2rg3t3

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Women's Rights

The result of a conversation that got started by the “Love Finland” picture, about what it means to be a feminist and what men gain or loose from female rights, that started out serious but ended up being ridicules, and we both agreed that we had to stop when we started talking about “The Strapon of Women’s Rights”

I've gotten quite fond of the idea that Finland has an odd fetish for feminists. Sadly, non of the crazy feminazis want to touch him because he has a penis, so he’ll have to do with Sister Sweden who doesn't give a crap about women's rights, but is willing to pretend that she does.

And for the curious, yes, there is something underneath the censor bar. A pink strapon with female symbols on it.
I promise this will be the last strapon picture for quite a while.

EDIT: I'm a feminist myself, so you don't have to tell me what it is. This is just for fun. ;)

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Who's your daddy?

All the children in SatW are completely fucked.

Scania is the most southern part of Sweden which used to be part of Denmark. A lot of people from Scania work in Denmark and the other way around because they’re connected by a bridge, and every year a group of people from the rest of Sweden comes down to the border of Scania and a group from Scania does the same, and together they start digging along the border. The plan is to separate Scania from the rest of Sweden.

And yes, Sister Sweden is making a reference to this http://humon.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2qv9uv because I'm a horrible person.

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Axis Powers after the War

I was going though some old papers and found this. A quick sketch of Germany, Italy and Japan.
Many years has passed since the war, but not all of them have quite gotten over it yet. Luckily Germany seems to slowly be getting a bit of his pride back, though there’s still a long way to go.

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Questionable Invasion

Years ago I watched a Danish program where a clairvoyant mentioned that Denmark had a lot of “Star People” but didn’t specify what that was. I thought she meant “star gazers” (babies that a born facing upwards).

Then a couple of months ago I watched an American program where an English clairvoyant was visiting sights around America. At one point he got out of the car in a small town and said, “Interesting. This town has 8 or 9 Star People. That’s unusual”
“What are Star People?” the host asked.
“A higher race of beings who are visiting us from far away stars, and are born as humans. They’re quite rare in America so it’s really impressive that a small town like this has that many”
“Don’t they like our president?” the host joked.
“Maybe” he smiled “They’re born all over the world, but for some reason most of them choose Scandinavia”
“What are they doing there?”
“Nobody knows, but it’s quite overwhelming how many go there. In fact, last time I visited Denmark two years ago, 1 out of 5 people were Star People, and the number seems to be increasing. I’ve been told it’s the same in Sweden and Norway, and a lot of Star People who were born in other places are drawn to the countries. We are many who are just waiting to see what happens”

Then they started talking about something else, but the mental picture of Scandinavians as aliens is quite funny.

So be afraid, great nations of the world! For we have come to conquer the Earth, and will not rest before every man, woman and child eats pickled herring, visits Legoland every year and rests in Ikea furniture! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDZBgHBHQT8

...By god. We’re the lamest aliens ever.

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