New Family

Lazy sketches time!

So I was wondering what life would be like for newly adopted Canada in England’s house. What would he think of the place?

The first sketch is of Canada walking in on America dying his hair. Papa England does not like that America is ruining his hair like that, so he has do it without him knowing. Because what can England do when it’s done? Sure, he could shave it all off as punishment, but he doesn’t want a bald son either. Sssh Canada. Don’t tell on him.

Next is Australia hiding from his papa in a tree. God only knows what he did this time, but he would prefer if England didn’t find him. Ssssh Canada. You keep your damn mouth shut!

And finally Canada petting New Zealand, wondering what the hell kind of family he has become part of.

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Damn Kids

The temptation became too much. I had to draw it. England and his children.

It ended up looking like they’re in school, but they’re supposed to be at home doing homework. Yes, England is about to smack America in the back of the head.

Australia was a very naughty child, and England ended up sending him away, forcing him to learn to take care of himself. And it worked. Today Australia is a well adjusted man whom most people like.

America was a bit of a trouble maker too, but not as bad as Australia. Well, that was until he decided that he wanted to move out sooner than England would have liked.

Canada was adopted from France, and turned out to be one of the most polite and easy children England ever had under his care.

EDIT: Places like India and such weren’t so much England's children as his servants.

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The Wonder of Glasses

There’s no cleaver (or not so clever) joke about countries in this comic. It’s just Sweden, Denmark and Norway hanging out.

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Costume Party

Very smooth distraction, Sweden.

Yes, America thought it would fit best if he was white for this costume.

I don’t know how well known it is out in the big world, but in Denmark is common knowledge that H.C. Andersen was omni/bisexual. And unlike with Abraham Lincoln it’s not up for debate, because H.C. Andersen wrote about his love for women and men alike in his diaries, and it even got a mention in some of his friends’ diaries too. In fact, it didn’t seem like he was trying to hide it at all, and he never got in trouble for it. He stayed a virgin all his life though, so Denmark is acting a little out of character.

I won’t tell you what the others are dressed as. I hope you can tell.

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Sister America

So, in Scandinavia the stereotypical American woman is basically Paris Hilton, but prettier and with bigger fake breasts. I’m sorry.

We do of course have plenty of girls looking like that here too, but they’re seen as copying American girls.

The thing about Americans is that we always see them as unhealthy, be they fat or skinny. If they’re skinny it just because they don’t eat at all and have had plastic surgeries. Like, they can be some of the prettiest people in the world, but in the most unhealthy way possible. That’s how the stereotype goes anyway.

And America is indeed spray tanned. He wasn’t originally supposed to stay that way, but then someone mentioned spray tanning and I thought it was too funny to ignore.
I just feel bad about telling you this because a lot of people seemed so happy that he was Latin American. But the truth needs to be told!

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Pretty Swastika

I just ran some text through the Babelfish translator, so I hope the German in the comic is complete nonsense.

Many people have asked me, “On what side was Denmark doing World War II?” and the anwser is that you will get different answers depending on who you ask, even within Denmark, because Denmark’s way of handling the situation was rather unconventional.

Nazi Germany saw Denmark as one of the most aryan countries in the world, and decided to do a “friendly invasion” so that Denmark wouldn’t fall into the hands of the enemy. Denmark was shit scared of Nazi Germany after what had happened to Poland and we were well aware that we couldn’t fight them. But we knew that the Nazis liked us, so what Denmark did was this: We quickly shipped 99% of the country’s Jews off to Sweden where they would be safe, then (sort of) fought the Germans for two hours to show the rest of the world that we weren’t completely on their side, before just giving up and letting them march in.
We then proceeded to treat the soldiers as nice as possible, hoping that Hitler would be kind to us if we behaved. Denmark even became known as the “whipped cream front” among the Germans because we were so nice, and it was every German soldier’s dream to be sent to Denmark were they didn’t have to fight or fear for their life.

So it’s no wonder Denmark was often called Nazi friendly.

And Sweden of course weren’t completely passive doing the way, and did help their surrounding countries a little thought the war (helping Jews anyone?). I just thought it would be funnier like this.

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Coffee

Inspired by the fact that Norway used to consume more coffee than any other country in the world. http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/foo_cof_con-food-coffee-consumption

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Monkey Man

I haven’t really made any jokes about the stereotype that all Danes are racist without realizing it, so here is one. Enjoy!

And this was also an excuse to draw one of the black characters.

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The Napoleon War

Never mess with a neat-freak!

This is the main reason why Norway and Denmark still feel a bit funny about Sweden even today. HISTORY TIME!

The Napoleon war was basically with France one on side and England on the other, with each of them having a number of countries supporting them. At the beginning most countries supported France, and Sweden was one of the few who supported England from the very beginning.
As the war went on, more and more countries left France and went over to England, with Denmark as one of the very few who stayed with France to the bitter end.

When England won, Denmark was of course seen as one of the big loosers who deserved to be punished for staying on the "evil" side, so it was seen as only fair that Sweden got Norway. The Danes were ready to just give in and get it over with, but the Dane who had been put in charge of Norway suggested that they allowed Norway to break loose from Denmark instead. That way Sweden couldn’t touch them.

Denmark agreed to do this, and Norway finally got it’s own constitution. But that didn’t stop Sweden. When they were told Denmark could no longer hand Norway over, Sweden simply invaded Norway and took it by force. That was the last war between the Scandinavian countries.

You gotta' love how Sweden went from being one of the "good guys" to being a jerk. History is fun like that.

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Bath Time

You voted, so here they are. The Nordic countries in all their naked glory. Enjoy, you perverts!

There are no stereotypes saying that Finns look like this. I just thought it went well with the I-don't-give-a-fuck-what-you-think personality I’ve given them.

And yes, I actually imagine Sister Norway to be slightly taller than her brother, just because.

I didn’t realize it before the picture was done, but I love how you can see that a domino effect will take place in the boys' picture:

Iceland is just standing around being his usual pretty self. That...um, distracts Sweden. Therefore he doesn’t notice that Denmark is about to towel whip Norway. When that happens, Norway will jump, and bump into Finland. Finland will drop his beer, and then all hell will break loose!

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